I've been wanting to write about this for awhile now... what it means to be "just an instructor." But since I was reminded this morning by a very dear bestie that she will always think of me on President's Day because it's the anniversary of my first Zumba class... I thought I'd finally do it.
First of all that pic is 6 years old... back when I was younger, still married & still had a beard. I've since also decided smaller hats were more my style.
I posted that pic on the 2-year anniversary of my first Zumba class, which was 8 years ago on President's Day. Baberaham Lincoln anyone? LOL
Actually I should say it was the first day of my regular class because a couple months prior I was a last minute sub for a Thanksgiving morning Zumba class that was taking place in the YMCA gym for oh... only about 70 people. I'd been licensed to teach since September of that year (2011), but had no desire to actually do it.
Teaching was never a goal of mine. I got talked into going to the training, but it wasn't something I planned to do anything with. Until about 2 months later at 7:00am on Thanksgiving morning when I had to step up to the plate as a pinch hitter... one whom by the way had never even made a playlist on iTunes or burned a CD for a class. Yes... that was back in CD days.
To say the morning started out frantically is an understatement, but I go into game mode in a challenge and figure shit out. Oh... and did I mention it was a 75-minute class and I was going to be the only instructor? This was also prior to big "mashup" holidays where we had more than 1 instructor in the lineup.
I'll also say that in that gym for all those people, they had a boom box for me.
A boom box.
At one point as I confidently walked into the building with 75-minutes worth of Zumba songs that weren't even my own, but I had memorized over time... a member walked up to me & asked if I was going to be wearing a mic so people could hear me in the gym. I pretty much just looked at her & said... "Umm no. There's no verbal cueing in Zumba." Least of my worries at the moment, yet I still remember this exchange vividly. Stress will do that I suppose.
Anyhoo... I did it. And it was fun. So much fun. And nerve-wracking, but even to this day, once the music starts I get lost in it. Or actually... maybe I find myself in it.
I think most of us can probably say that as participants too. And I hear it all the time. How people are happy in that room. That life stays outside those doors and for an hour there's freedom in dancing & being lost in the music.
In all of this over the years, I have found myself and what I believe I was created to do... outside of being a mom, which is first & foremost in my life and my greatest pride.
A few months later I was offered the job to regularly teach on Mondays & I jumped at the opportunity, figuring if I could handle that class on Thanksgiving, everything else was going to be a walk in the park after that.
Since that first class I have regularly taught at 5 different studios/gyms in the area, had my own gig for elementary teachers after school in their gym for a year, and was a regular sub at 2 other places. Thousands of hours practicing & choreographing over the years, classes, mashups, special events, tears of happiness & extreme frustration, blood, sweat, caluses, bruises to my body & my ego, more friends that have come than gone, new formats I'd eventually get certified to teach like Zumba Toning, The CRT Method, Body Pump & The MIX by Piloxing... not to mention deciding on a whim to teach Step even though I'd never taught it before. I eventually had to learn to teach with a mic & worse yet, verbally cue for an entire hour... the gal at the Y on Thanksgiving would've been proud I'm sure... and that alone was gigantic for me.
I still enjoy the opportunity & challenge of starting over and building a following for a new class. I still enjoy learning from & being inspired by those I admire and really need to do it more often. I LOVE my job. I still haven't hit burnout & thankfully my body is still allowing me to do as much of this as I want, even though I could stand to take better care of it sometimes. I'm not exactly the youngest instructor around & I was already probably considered "old" at 42 for becoming a first-time instructor compared to most.
I blogged once about a Rachel Hollis/Ed Mylett podcast which spoke about remembering who you were before the world told you who you were. Before you were someone's wife. Before you were someone's mom. Before you were someone's employee.
To think back to who you were as a child. What were your interests? What were your goals? Your hobbies? Your dreams?
Along with constantly taking pictures, making scrapbooks out of construction paper or whatever I could find, always drawing or creating in some way... I have always been into music, probably because music filled our home more than TV when I was growing up. I was always singing along to music & dancing, played the flute for 8 years too.
As a foreshadowing of things to come, I'd be the group leader of "shows" we'd put on in my basement. I'd come up with choreography & decide how the show would play out with my sister, our neighbor & me. Usually that meant I was the lead singer/dancer in front doing my thang... while those 2 were doing cartwheels or something I suggested as backup. That's me in the middle with the red leotard & red tights. And of course a white sweater my mom made me wear because it was "cold in the basement," which I clearly took off for a mid-show costume change. Or maybe I was just sweating... I do tend to do that profusely as you've likely noticed. Although my thoughts are that if you still look good at the end of your workout, you haven't worked hard enough. LOL
I'd eventually have a couple years in gymnastics during elementary school... not really my thing primarily due to fear of flipping over bars & the horse, played a lot of sports... 10 years of softball and a year of volleyball thrown in there too... wanted so badly to be on the pom squad only to be cut from tryouts, and then eventually my sophomore year of high school I became a cheerleader. Man I was in my element then. I may have zero dance experience in my life, but I can yell & encourage with all my heart, and I'll have sharp arms & jumps while doing it. Gotta always stick the landing, folks...
Ironically, now that I think about it... some of the most inspiring instructors I know were all cheerleaders... every. single. one. of. them... including my own mom who was a cheerleader & still to this day is regularly subbing fitness classes. I get it from my mama.
And don't even get me started on the amazing Netflix series Cheer. Binge watch all 6 episodes immediately if you haven't seen it yet. So much more to take away from it than what you might think is just a show about cheerleading.
But back to the reason for all of these words. When I hear someone say "just an instructor" about their own self, I almost take offense to it. I've probably downplayed the role myself before too. But that title is an honor. That title is so much more than that. That title for me is so much more than the 7 hours I'm actually seen in class each week because most of the work I do is outside of class.
Some of the many titles one could also say about being an instructor is also leader, motivator, counselor, cheerleader, actress, performer, choreographer, athlete. And who knew my marketing degree would come in handy as well... although in this day & age of social media, marketing is a lot different than it was 30 years ago, so I've also had to figure all that out too.
Growing thick skin is another major requirement & I've lost a few people I considered good friends along the way. What I've gained over the years & the growth that it's caused, both personally & professionally, is immeasurable though and I'm endlessly grateful for all of it.
I wanted to be able to turn off the ability to comment on this post. I tried & there's no way with Facebook. I'm not writing all this because I'm in need of feedback or pats on the back because truly... I get that regularly... it's a blessing & a constant reminder of why I'm beyond lucky enough to be in this position.
What I want to say most is that I see you. All of you... in the front of the room next to me, in the middle of the room and more importantly in the back of the room.
I am you. I was you. YOU... in the back of the room where I started out too. Or started over, I should say, after my sister passed away. It was my 2 hours a week away from my new baby Bryn where I could go get lost in the music. I'd walk in right before class & leave right after. It wasn't a social hour for me & I didn't even care to know another soul in there, I just needed the therapy. I needed to feel more like me again. And it worked. It helped so much with the extreme grief I was experiencing all while trying to be the best new mom I could be for this new little life that didn't care about my grief... she just needed her mom's love She saved me too.
And as I see happen with others, we eventually find the confidence to let go of our inhibitions & fear of being judged... and just move. To sometimes moving a little closer to the front of the room. To experiencing joy through movement. As our bodies become stronger, our minds most certainly follow.
Whether we've just recently met or you've been alongside me over the years throughout this journey, I'm thankful for all of you. Your smiles, your energy, your willingness to kick ass & take names (or forget names as I often do), your strength, your discipline for showing up, your stories whether I know them or not... your presence in my classes & more importantly in my life... makes every day worth it.
Find what lights you up. Even if it's not your job... find a hobby or a pastime that makes you feel the most you. The child you once were, whoever that was before life, circumstances or your inner voice told you otherwise. Even if it's just a few hours a week that you can fit in. Find yourself.
Who knows how long I'll be doing this, but I know without a doubt my life will always involve being creative in some way and if nothing else, I will ALWAYS have my car to perform in while driving. That gig started at 16 and never stopped...
Happy President's Day & God bless America!
XOXO
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