(diva)logues

Actions > intentions

 

 

It's been quite a few months since I last blogged, but in honor of my recent birthday... here's 56 random things on my mind at 56 about health and our relationships with ourselves and others...

1. Begin each day with gratitude. It helps you see what's there, instead of what isn't.
2. Practicing gratitude is especially important when things aren't going your way.
3. Who and what you surround yourself with is your biggest influence.  If you want to start somewhere, declutter your space.  Give stuff away, sell it, throw it away.  If you haven't used it in forever, there's probably someone out there who is in need.  A decluttered space = a decluttered mind. 
4. Stop chasing a smaller body and chase a strong one instead.
5. You don't need to shrink to be more worthy.  But losing excess weight may just be the key to feeling better physically and emotionally.
6. Losing the weight of other people's opinions and expectations is even healthier for you.  
7. Go for walks. Get outside. Or hop on the treadmill if it's more convenient.  Walking is one of the best things you can do for your health.  
8. Every single organ in your body benefits from regular exercise... brain, skin, muscle, bone... you name it, exercise helps.  Want to look and feel younger?  Get moving. 
9. Our bodies weren't designed to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day.  They were designed to hunt and gather, not Netflix and chill. 
10. It's not selfish for parents to put their needs first. Our kids want us to be happy, healthy and to stick around for as long as possible.
11. Adequate sleep needs to be your best friend.  It will either help or hinder everything else in your life if you're not getting 7-8 hours regularly.
12. You can't make everyone happy and not everyone will like you no matter how much you try.  Remove the I want you to like me sticker from your forehead and put it on your mirror where it belongs.  
13. People pleasing = maximizing someone else's needs, while minimizing your own.
14. Minimizing your needs will never maximize the success of your relationships.
15. A woman staying home to raise her kids is ok.  And a woman deciding to bring home the bacon instead of staying home to raise kids is also ok. 
16. I've tended to be more old school with traditional roles and values, but judging other's choices shouldn't be ok.  
17. If you're a grown man living with your parents though, or worse yet choosing not to work at all, then I'm totally judging, bro. That's just not how a man leads in my opinion.   
18. How lean you are is the least interesting thing about you.
19. Stop hating your body and picking it apart.
20. If you don't like something about yourself, then get up and make a change.  
21. Do something, do anything... because change requires action.
22. Whatever you're not changing, you're choosing to accept though. 
23. Cardio is great for your heart health, but it's not the complete answer to weight loss.  
24. Lifting weights won't bulk you up, but you need to lift them regularly if you want to see the biggest changes in your body. 
25. Eating protein at each meal is a great way to stave off hunger and help build muscle.
26. Exercise is 20%, nutrition is 80%... and both are required with consistency if you want to achieve your health goals. 
27. In fact, what you do regularly trumps what you do occasionally.  Aim for building daily habits, not perfection.  Aim for lifestyle changes, not quick solutions.  
28. Goals require specific plans of action.
29. You can say or think all the right things, but actions supersede intentions. 
30. Failure is the path to success, but don't give up and quit when you hit it.   
31. Success doesn't happen overnight, and failure doesn't either.
32. Every fall is a chance to rise though, and there just might be something down there we're supposed to find to help us grow.  
33. Talk less, listen more.
34. We have something to learn from everyone God places in our path.  In fact, there's always a reason He placed them there.
35. Step outside your comfort zone regularly.
36. Travel, see other places, the world is bigger than your neighborhood commute to and from work every week.
37. Get off your phone and do literally anything else. 
38. And if you have to be on your phone, at least put it away when you're with others.  We don't have to be available to everyone and everything 24/7.
39. It's ok to miss a call.  It's ok to not immediately respond.  It's ok to turn off your notifications and be present.   
40. We actually used to exist without constant connection to the rest of the world.  We actually used to get from point A to point B without GPS.  We used to talk more and text less.  We used to get outside more and sit inside less.  
41. Why are little kids on phones and gadgets the second you sit down at a restaurant instead of just engaging with them?  
42. "Smart" phones have made us dumber about genuine connection with others.   
43. Our health is the most precious thing we have, yet most take it for granted until it's lost.    
44. Temporary, everything, all of it... the good days, the bad days.  Cherish the good and hang in there with the bad, because it's all ever-changing throughout your life.  Once you realize that, you're better equipped to ride the ups & downs.  
45. You have to risk possible heartache to feel immense love, but that love is worth the risk.    
46. Death is inevitable but choose to live with joy while you're still alive.  
47. Need some natural dopamine hits for a better mood?  Sunlight, lift weights, walk, dance, meaningful sex, laughter, new experiences, meditation are just a few ideas.  
48. There's nothing wrong with seeking outside mentorship or therapy.  We can all benefit from another point of view than our own.   
49. You can't build a kingdom with someone if either of you is still seeking approval from the masses.
50. There's no room for ego or pride in a relationship with others.  But having pride in the way you feel could be useful in your relationship with your own health.   
51. Healthy bodies and healthy relationships don't happen without consistent work.  
52. Keep your squats low and your head, heels and standards high.  
53. Don't adapt to the energy in the room, influence the energy in it.
54. Wake, pray, slay.  
55. Age is just a number... you are not too old and it's not too late.  
56. But aging with grace is overrated.  Age with mischief, audacity and a good story to tell.

 

XOXO

The silence is deafening...

 

Saw this post on Instagram that randomly came up in my feed this morning from someone I wasn't even following.  Yet.  I have since given him a follow after checking out the rest of his content. 

It was enough to get me fired up and right out of bed though, because every single bullet point was good food for thought in my opinion.

 

 

The Silent Pandemics

 

We don't eat real food.

 

We don't exercise.

 

We sit at desks and then come home to sit on couches. 

 

We numb our emotions with food, drugs & alcohol, which makes the emotions come back even worse.

 

We decided that the sun is dangerous for our health.

 

We don't allow ourselves to be bored anymore.

 

We created a pill for every ill.

 

We've decided that being entertained is more important than living.

 

We have a constant connection to our devices but no connection to ourselves & our communities.

 

We eat too many calories but not enough nutrition.

 

We strive for likes more than we strive to make a difference.

 

Some scientists promote sugary cereals to be more nutritious than eggs and beef.

 

We believe our feelings are facts.

 

We think being offended can change the facts.

 

We suffer from things we don't control rather than focus on the things we have control over.

 

We trade our sleep for more social media time, which messes up our sleep even more.

 

A big reason we are mentally unhealthy is because we're physically unhealthy.

 

There's a health food section in the grocery store when it should be where the whole foods are.

 

We trust our health with food & pharma companies when they are more concerned with profit.

 

People watch mainstream news to keep us informed when they want keep us angry & scared.

 

We put focus too much on money & status and not enough on health, family & community.

 

I don't have all the answers but I believe that we can live better lives by doing the opposite of this list.

Take action. Be proactive.

~Dan Go

 

 

 

And on that note... I'm off to keep it moving and get some exercise before I continue on with the rest of my day.

Movement is medicine.  

Keep things simple and take it back to the BASICS before we were all sitting on our butts, staring at phones and laptops.

Your body needs movement, whole unprocessed foods and adequate sleep.  

If you can just do those things... the rest will fall into place.

And let's not forget that time  spent with loved ones matters greatly too.    

I wrote about a lot of this at the end of 2020. 

 

 

In other news... I'm also pretty happy that Bryn is home for a few weeks.  We even got to hang out with her friends the other night for dinner.  Love them...

 

Hard to believe this is her last semester coming up with graduation on the horizon in May.

Although the silence in this house the last 4 years has sometimes been deafening and was a slow process for me getting used to her not being here, it has also gone by very fast too.  

 

I know the girls aren't in a hurry for it all to come to an end, but I am looking forward to one final Kappa Delta Mom's Weekend coming up in the Spring.  It's been a fun 4 years (minus Covid) of Parent's Weekends and Mom's Weekends.  

As ususal... adequate rest will not be on the agenda for Mom's Weekend and I cannot keep up with the youngsters anymore.  Although, goodness knows I try.  LOL

 

 

I hope you all have a very happy, healthy and Merry Christmas!

XOXO

 

"Feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in... "

 

In January of 2008, I completed my first half marathon in Phoenix with my mom, Marci and a couple friends from high school.  There were only a few reasons I agreed to train for it... mainly because my mom wanted to do another one, but this time just walk it instead of run.  At the time, I wasn't a runner, so I said... ok, I suppose I could train to walk 13.1 miles.  Because I definitely had no desire to run that far.

Marci was a pretty fast runner, but graciously agreed to walk it with us.

Another reason I agreed was because my mom, dad and sister, Marci, had all done multiple half and full marathons, so I decided I had to at least somewhat keep up with the Joneses.  

And, since this would also involve a road trip to a warmer climate in the middle of winter, as well as competing in a Rock & Roll Marathon, which I'd already knew to be a fun course of bands playing at every mile marker... I thought.... yep, sign me up, I can do this. 

 

As a side note... there is definitely a method to the madness, because the fast-paced walking I did during training, would eventually have me jogging during the actual race, much to my mom's dismay who kept saying for 13.1 miles.... "I thought we were going to walk this?"  LOL  

Although being a long-time runner herself, I don't think she was surprised that the excitement and adrenaline on race day would have me moving faster, but I digress.

 

If you've trained for a half or a full, you know there's a whole training schedule that involves a couple short runs during the week in addition to 1 long run, usually on the weekend... all of which gradually increases each week over the time of training that leads up to the race.  

 

Anyway... this all happened prior to my blog, but I did keep notes and we'd of course encourage each other over email during this time too.  

I found the following email I sent to everyone on the 8-mile training day that just came up in my memories...

 

Wasn't having a great morning until now.
It flat poured down rain on me at Barat Haven so I gave up after only 2.2 miles.
Homey don't do rain (or snow).
Went back home and finished up the 5.8 on the treadmill in my wet clothes.

Kept thinking to myself,
"Why did I drink wine with Mom & Dad last night?"
"When is this toenail going to finally fall off?"
"Why did I agree to doing this race in the first place?"

So I finally finished the 8 miles and was on my way back from Crazy Bowls & Wraps, (my favorite training meal) and was thinking of the lyrics to the song "Unwritten," mainly because it had been raining.  

I kept thinking, I'm going to go home and send those lyrics to everyone in my next email. 
Then I had what I can only describe as a moment with Kaysy when all my questions from today were answered.  Swear to God, that song (which isn't even a current song anymore) came on the radio as I had been trying to remember the words in my head. I turned it up as loud as possible, sang as loud as I could and then after the song was over said, "Thanks, Kaysy, I needed that." 

Here they are:
"Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten..."

RR 4 K. ... Team DKM

 

 

If you've trained for a half or a full, you also know that the biggest part of the journey is the training... not just the actual race day.

The discipline of sticking to a schedule, getting the miles in no matter what, staying in the right mindset and not giving up.  

We finished the race in 2:33:45 and I'm pretty sure I was smiling the entire time... 

In fact, it was such an amazing experience for me, one I felt really proud of what I'd accomplished... one that ranks right up there with giving birth, that I decided to do it again the following January.  Same Rock & Roll race, same location in Phoenix, but this time I decided I was going to train to run it.  And my goal was to run it in 2 hours or less. 

I will say again, if you haven't already gathered this from the above, that I'm more of a fair-weather runner so most of my training was completed on my treadmill since I was training for a fair-weather race during a cold snowy winter in Missouri. 

 

In fact, the only time I've ever actually endured and even somewhat enjoyed a long run in the pouring down rain, was when I was part of a full marathon as a relay team with my dad, Marci and Bob.  It was the GO St Louis in 2009, and it poured for my entire 7.1 miles, the last leg of our race, where those 3 were standing there cheering for me right before the end when we all crossed the finish line together in 3:57:28.  Anything under 4 hours for a full is a pretty amazing time.   

And yes, I was yelling because our goal was to do it in under 4 and we did it in spite of the weather.

And dang, my quads look like I was a body builder.  I wasn't, but I guess by the end of that many miles, you have some definition to your legs.  LOL

 

 

So... suffice it to say that my longest run during training for my second half marathon was 12 miles and I did it on my treadmill while I watched a movie, because I didn't want to run outside in the cold and snow.  

I know that sounds crazy, but I guess I am.  

 

Fast forward to race weekend.

We arrived in Phoenix that Friday, 2 days prior to the race.  I had a migraine that night, still had it the next day, and then MUCH to my dismay, woke up on race morning Sunday with the same damn migraine.  This was also pre-migraine meds days for me, and of course Advil wasn't doing a thing to help.  I literally cried that morning, thinking... I did all this training and there's no way I can go run this thing.  

But I got out of bed, put on my clothes, got something to eat and we got on the shuttle to head to the race.  

Crazy enough, I have learned over the years that adrenaline is a natural pain killer, so once I started running... I didn't feel my head throbbing as much anymore.  I've taught many classes with a migraine.  I've also learned how to dress better for running since then and not wear heavy sweat pants anymore.  So dumb, but I didn't know any better.    

Unlike those last 2 races, I'm pretty sure I was NOT smiling the entire race, especially once I hit miles 9-11 which were mostly uphill.

But in spite of not actually dressing for success and having a weekend-long migraine, I finished the race in 2:00:47.  

Literally 47 seconds past my goal of 2 hours or less. 

Wish I was kidding about that.  

Had I realized I was that close, I think I would've sprinted at the end.  In fact, I know I would've sprinted at the end.  

 

I've thought about it many times over the years.  How did I get that close?  Should I go for a personal record and try again for under 2 hours or do I really want to work that hard again and just say it was close enough?  

 

No one else even cares that you've achieved all these miles, or missed a goal by less than a minute, but it's one of those achievements that's personal. 

And if you've missed a goal by getting that close, or have a similar story, you probably understand.  

 

Not sure the thought of doing that many miles sounds appealing to me anymore, but there are certainly moments I'd consider it. 

Just to say I did it.

 

Although maybe the whole point of that journey wasn't even the race or the time... it was in the training leading up to it.  

For both races.  

Close enough though, I suppose.  For now anyway.

The rest is still unwritten... 

XOXO

20 things on the 20th...

 

I was trying to find a really old blog post today to retell a story about when I confronted 2 creepy guys I knew in my gut were pedophiles taking pictures at Bryn's dance recital held at St Charles Community College when she was younger.

Couldn't recall what year it was, but I found the photos from the event in Bryn's scrapbook from 2008 so I started looking through those dates on here to see if I blogged about it.  Which by the way, is the first year I started this blog... 14 years ago.  

 

 

A few things I noticed along the way while scanning through old posts from that year...

1. I used to blog almost every day, a lot of which involved content about my day to day life.
2. I was a very busy and involved mom... between home and volunteering at school... Bryn and I were always doing stuff together.  She didn't have an iPad to keep her attention... like kids typically do now. 
3. It's no wonder I've gone through major growing pains since she left for college over 3 years ago.  I'm not the biggest fan of being an empty nester and very sure I'm not ready for when it's more permanent than it already feels.  
4. I used to have a very different life, not necessarily better than what my life is now, but just different.
5. Additionally, I worked out daily and was even training for a half marathon back then... it was also before I became an instructor.
6. I was very heavily involved in taking photos, scrapbooking, preserving memories by telling stories, and also trying to get my foot in the door of major paper crafting publications... which by the way, I eventually did get my stuff published quite a few times.  
7. I don't know why the recollection of all of this is making me cry when it's not where my original train of thought was in writing this post.  Maybe I'll take a break and come back to this later. 
8. In all honesty though, writing in general on this blog has made me cry over the years.  There's something therapeutic about it for me.  Maybe that's a good thing considering therapy could've helped and probably would've cost more than the $9 I've paid every month to Typepad to host this thing for 14 years.  LOL  
9. Ok seriously, I got up to take a break and noticed a white stain on my black tank top from where snot had unknowingly dripped onto it.  I mean... who doesn't need a random cry once in a while, when you're supposed to leave for an appointment soon, besides NOT ME.  Also, I must've been really focused on what I was typing to have not noticed I needed a Kleenex.  Note to self... keep a box on my desk.

 

But here's a typical post and day in the life from back then....

 

November 26, 2008

Did this last night, while watching the finale of Dancing with the Stars (yeah for Brooke & Derrek!)...

 

... it was inspired by the Bucket List challenge (based on the movie) at the Forward Progress Now blog.  I make "to do" lists daily & now she makes them sometimes, too.  Hopefully these are things she puts on her list for her life.  I need to live by this list, too! 

• live with intention
• walk to the edge
• listen hard
• practice wellness
• play with abandon
• choose with no regret
• laugh
• continue to learn
• appreciate your friends
• do what you love
• live as if this is all there is

Oh & she's wearing my shoes in that photo... I swear she'd wear my clothes & shoes to school if I'd let her.  She's growing up way too fast...

Today's the first day of Thanksgiving break for Bryn, so we've made a "to do" list:

• Spin class at the Y
• Paint Bryn's nails
• Play "school"
• Crafting & coloring
• Do "hair dos"
• Play "shoe store" & "jewelry store" (yeah, that would mean my shoes)
• Make brownies (no eggs & dairy) for Bryn to eat for dessert on Thanksgiving
• Wait for Sears to do a maintenance check on the treadmill between 1-5pm
• Oh & watch old tapes from when Bryn was a baby... almost forgot

Notice it's really a list of things that Bryn wants "to do" today.  I'm VERY glad to have her home, though, I really miss her when she's at school...

Off to the Y to get my day started & get a boost of energy.... I think I'm going to need it today!

 

 

Another typical thing I noticed that I used to blog was on the 7th of the month, I'd do a "7 things on the 7th" post, which would involve 7 random things about my life, my day, suggestions, etc.  

 

 

So since I've already veered way off course in how this post was supposed to go... and since today is September 20th... here's 20 things on the 20th, that may or may not be similar to life in 2008...

1. I love Aldi.  In fact, I just got home from there today, and yes, I did change out of the snot-stained shirt I was wearing before I left.
2. Shopping at Aldi has most definitely saved me money from the days I mostly shopped at Dierbergs or Fresh Thyme.  Wish I would've realized this sooner in life, but a big thank you to Jim for encouraging the switch.
3. You know what else has saved me a ton of money?  The drive-up option at Target.  If I don't set foot in that damn store, I won't impulse buy stuff I really don't need... like clothes, home decor, and let's don't even talk about the dollar spot right when you walk in.
4. I'm still kinda high-maintenance, but that's ok because I'm the one maintaining it.  I still love to shop for clothes, shoes and handbags... I just don't do it as often as I once did.  
5. Now I find myself selling a lot of what I've accumulated over the years with resale shops, sites like the Real Real, and most often using the Poshmark app that's been pretty successful for me.
6. I'm not a fan of running anymore.  I mean... I know I could do it, but I'm just not motivated for it like I used to be.  I do love to go out and take a walk sometimes if I have nothing better to do.  It clears my head and it's some natural vitamin D which is always a positive.
7. I had a colonoscopy scheduled for this Friday... my first one ever... and they just called the other day to reschedule it because my insurance denied the location and wanted me to get it elsewhere.  So now I have to wait until November.  Never mind that I'm 54 and have put this off for 4 years, and now it's been rescheduled twice this year.  I'm not looking forward to the liquid diet and the prep the day prior, so I guess the universe just knows.  
8. Speaking of which, if you're a fan of doing an occasional cleanse... my favorite is $10 off at Advocare right now.  Click on that link and search for the cleanse.  I like unflavored myself, but they also have citrus or peaches & cream.  You also get a FREE digital food scale with your purchase!  
9. My favorite self-tanner for like ever, has been Clinique for face and body.  I still use it, but recently Bryn also introduced me to Tanologist, which you can find at Target, Amazon, Ulta, etc... and I love the extra color it gives.  Highly suggest buying a mitt to apply it though, so you don't have big random brown marks the next day.  Ahem.
10. My idea of "cooking" these days is making a big salad.  Why bother making an elaborate meal when I'm the only one here?  
11. I lift weights a couple times a week, not only to keep my body toned up, but also because muscle keeps your metabolism running faster.  Oh, and also because I teach the format. LOL  Back in the day, I thought cardio was the only way to stay fit though.  I was a cardio queen for real.  Couldn't have been more WRONG about that. 
12. For years I've never known what I wanted to do with my life job-wise because I wanted something else that wouldn't mess with my teaching schedule, and I also didn't necessarily want to work full-time again.  The thought of writing a resume and/or actually applying for something kept me doing nothing though.  Until my current job at Cappucinnos basically fell into my lap... although, yes, I do know the timing of the universe isn't random.  You know what else?  I LOVE that job, even if there are moments when I'm wondering how my life ended up here. It has brought some of the most amazing people into my life... coworkers and customers.  
13. I might be addicted to dark chocolate covered almonds.  Specifically, the ones from Aldi.  I've somehow rationalized this addiction by thinking deez nuts are good protein and dark chocolate is an antioxidant.  We won't discuss the sugar content. 
14. Speaking of addictions, I will forever love Crazy Bowls... specifically the Kale & Quinoa salad with grilled chicken and no feta.  But since they, like everyone else, keep raising their prices, I try to only get it once a week.  But seriously, I could probably eat it daily.  
15. In November it will be 7 years that construction on my house was complete and I moved in.  I can't believe it's been that long.  
16. I've often thought of starting a podcast.  Still not quite sure what the gist of it would be, because it could certainly go in many directions, but I do know a few entertaining people that I enjoy bantering with, like Bryn, Jim and even my friend Leslie... which someone at Bloom suggested we needed our own morning show LOL... so who knows.  And maybe I should stop thinking about all the things I'd like to do and just freakin start doing them.  
17. Donating plasma is a great little side-hustle while helping others.  Although not gonna lie, this morning I walked in for my appointment, saw a long line that I haven't seen in a while, thought to myself... not today, Satan... and turned around and walked back out the door.  
18. This morning I was at a stop light behind a car that had a small baby-on-board kind of sign on the rear window that read, "twins up in this bitch."  And all I could think was...  why on earth would someone put that sign on their car?  There's a lot about O'Fallon that makes me wonder.  Speaking of which, did you know you can find a bank and a car wash on literally every single corner of Highway K?  It's a running joke around here, and yet they still keep adding more.  
19. Two of my favorite things to do will always be dancing and traveling.  And if you can combine both at the same time, it will undoubtedly make me happy.  Although, it definitely matters who you're with too.  
20. Bryn is not a 7-year old anymore, she's 21 and a senior at Mizzou now.  I think I've already mentioned that in another post recently.  And while she doesn't wear my clothes and shoes to school, mainly because she has bigger feet than me, I do still think she's growing up way too fast.  And I still miss her when she's at school, especially now that she's AWAY at school.  I'm endlessly proud of her!  Oh... and she may have picked up my love of shopping since then too.  Girls Day Out, anyone?  We are always game! LOL

 

 

XOXO

If you fall, you can always get back up again...

 

So... my parents called and asked if I wanted to bike the Katy Trail with them on Saturday and hit a winery too. 

But I had a few things momentarily run through my head before I said... ok, I'll join you!

Two of the biggest things I immediately started to overthink was... ummm... I haven't been on anything other than a stationary bike for more than 30 years... 

and... 

Does anyone care that it's supposed to be 98 degrees outside?  

But neither of those things actually came out of my mouth before I agreed to meet them and I think they were really happy with my response too.   

 

As much as I need to work on saying NO to things I don't really want to do, I also need to work on saying YES to things outside my comfort zone.  

 

 

They both have their own bikes and helmets, but we parked in Defiance so we could rent a bike & helmet for me.  The rental place was about a block away from where we had parked with their bikes, so I had to get on my rented bike and ride it to the parking lot while they walked behind me.  

 

Not gonna lie. As I was trying to get on the bike, and after even lowering the seat one more time, I was shaking so badly I wasn't sure I was up for it. 

And I literally said to my mom... I don't know if I can do this.

 

However, she remained quiet, allowed me to get my footing and I kept moving forward. 

It's what a parent does for their child, holds back and watches you go.  

 

I'm fairly certain my mom & dad may have been secretly thinking to themselves as they walked behind me... let's get this girl some training wheels again... because they could see I was shaky.  

 

Long story short though... after a few solid minutes of trying to feel more comfortable again once we got on the trail, we ended up biking from Defiance to Augusta and back, which was a total of about 15 miles.  

Thankfully a lot of our trail included shade too, so the heat wasn't noticed as much as it could've been.  

We had plenty of water and we stopped to get off the bike a few times along the way.

It was a fun day and I truly just tried to soak in as much of the view and experience as I could, quietly thanking God along the way because I needed to get out of my comfort zone like this.  And thankful as well for time spent with my parents because that's really what matters most in life is the time we spend with loved ones.  

 

Did you know the Katy Trail was created over the old railroad path alongside the Missouri River?  

Pretty cool.  

Also my dad is pretty sure we rode past bear poop a few times.  

My mom & I assumed it was from a horse or something, but after he showed us googled pics of examples, we thanked him for not bringing it to our attention until we were sitting at dinner.  

And also glad the actual "pooper" wasn't part of our bike ride.  

 

 

Have you ever had those moments in life when you're going through a period of feeling off-balance and then you have to remind yourself to trust in your own abilities and keep putting one foot in front of the other?  

There's something to be said for an experience that will shake you, yet ground you and help you get your footing again all at the same time.  

 

You have to keep moving forward and putting one foot in front of the other or you'll fall.

If you fall though, you can always get back up and try again. 

 

Falling isn't the worst thing that can happen in life, but you'll never experience any growth until you figure out how you got there and rise up from it. 

 

 

 

 

And strangely enough I kinda want to buy a bike after this whole experience now. 

Also... I've gotta keep up with those two because they certainly aren't spending their life sitting down.

Unless of course it's on a bike.  LOL  

 

XOXO

Fake it til you make it...

 

So I started a new job a little over a month ago that has absolutely nothing to do with being a fitness instructor, although coincidentally leaving the studio one day is exactly where I said I'd be interested in taking on this new role. 

 

It was random how it happened, but there really weren't very strict qualifications when I was officially interviewed and hired... "you have a pulse and you're standing... perfect.  Can you start this weekend?" 

 

I don't know if you've noticed, but everyone seems to be understaffed these days, and everyone seems to be hiring.  Do you want to work?  Because someone somewhere will hire you immediately.   

 

And if you don't want to work, at least be kind to those that are showing up.  Because patience and grace for others helps a lot these days. 

 

 

Anyway... there was a bit of a learning curve to this new job and suffice it to say the first couple days felt a bit overwhelming in what I needed to learn, know and do as part of the job… wait tables, learn the menu & computer system, run your food, bus your tables, sometimes be the hostess AND be your own barista for the very long list of coffee drinks on the menu. 

Insert Rihanna’s lyrics… SOS please someone help me… 

 

 

In my mind though, you can't ask God or the universe to keep you open to all opportunities and then say... "no, no, not that opportunity, I can't do this or that requires too much stepping outside my comfort zone." 

 

Pretty sure God would say... that's exactly why you have this opportunity... now get to work.

 

So as we were all finishing up yesterday and discussing the new gal that was just hired as a hostess who just had her first day, they all said that if you stay on for at least a month you're basically considered a full-time employee, because not everyone lasts more than a couple days around there.  And... I've been there for over a month now so I guess I'm in it for the long-haul.

 

Then the owner's son looked at me and said... "yeah, I wasn't sure about you on your first day, I figured you might not come back."  

I laughed and said... "well, I did feel a bit overwhelmed, I'm not gonna lie... but you just gotta fake it til you make it.  Well and keep asking a lot of annoying questions too.”  LOL

They all at least told me I wasn't annoying.  Other than maybe that time I asked the owner's son to help me with a coffee drink on like my 3rd weekend in a row of asking for help with my drinks and he said, "Deana... you're gonna have to learn how to do this yourself... just do it." 

Haha... ok then, sink or swim. 

So far I haven't had any complaints on what I've served so I'll stay positive and assume it's been ok.

 

It's a crazy atmosphere and no one is worried about hurting your feelings, so thick skin helps... (oh wait... had to develop that as a fitness instructor years ago) but I really like these people and I'm truly enjoying it at this point. 

I will say however, that on my first day of work, my boyfriend walked in to see how I was doing and I wasn't sure if I should smile because it made me happy to see him, cry because I was in over my head, or just ask him to kidnap me so I could leave. 

Thankfully things feel much less overwhelming now and I'm making it, more than I'm faking it.  LOL

 

But here's the thing about me.

I don't give up or give in easily.  Not on people, places, jobs, relationships, friendships, etc. 

In fact, it takes a LOT for me to give up.  And a lot of tears and frustration before I get to that point.

Hi... Taurus the stubborn-ass-bull, nice to meet you.

 

And then even when I do finally wave the flag and want to surrender... there will still be something in me that's willing to try again. 

 

At this point in my life, I've also learned to pray on things too. 

To ask God to guide me in my decisions.

To ask God to be my strength.

And even harder yet, to give my problems or worries to God at night and just try to go to sleep. 

I've learned to ask God to walk into a room before me if I feel nervous or overwhelmed.

I've learned to ask God to continue to give me opportunities where I can make a difference or an impact. 

 

In fact... life really does boil down to just that... where and how can you make a difference?  Large or small?  Where can you add value or make an impact?  Probably just about anywhere on any given day if you're willing and have a positive attitude.

 

There is much to be uncertain about these days... much, much to be uncertain and concerned about unfortunately.  But we can all make a difference in someone else's life.  We can all make a change to our OWN life.  We just have to WANT to make a change.  We just have to look for opportunities... not necessarily perfect opportunities, but be willing to try, learn or grow.  

And well... growth is never comfortable. 

 

When is the last time you stepped outside your comfort zone?

When is the last time you tried something new? 

When is the last time you trusted that it was ok to fail before you succeed? 

Failure IS in fact part of the path to success.

Photo cred: AD images 

 

For some, trying something new might mean stepping into a new gym or starting a new fitness journey.  

And with anything new, it can feel intimidating or awkward the first time you do it. 

And just like me starting a new job where I had to walk in brand new and learn everything, it can feel nerve-wracking. 

 

I've instructed at quite a few gyms and studios in the last 10 years though, and I can honestly say you won't find a more welcoming place to workout than Bloom Fitness Studio.  It is a friendly, non-judgemental, supportive, fun community of women all with similar interests in mind... primarily health and wellness.  For some it might even be an hour away from work, family, the noise of the outside world and time for self-care.

Self-care is NOT selfish.

It is in fact ESSENTIAL.

YOU are essential and so is your health and wellness.

And it's ok if you put yourself first on your priority list because without your health and wellness... well... let's just say you can't pour from an empty cup... and your family or work life will eventually be affected.

 

We have a few special deals right now on classes if you'll trust me and all the other truly cool instructors I work with to give you an amazing workout that's fun too!

That fun factor along with the amazing community of people who workout there is what will make you want to return. 

Photo cred: AD images

And while I'm probably better at fitness than I am at waiting tables... at this point if you ask me for a Bloody Mary or a Venti Caramel Macchiato with your meal, among many other choices... I'll try not to let you down on that either.

Although I'd suggest keeping those coffee drinks to a minimum, and "filling your cup" in a different way, because they look more like dessert to me... I'm just sayin.

 

Happy Monday!

XOXO

Da Bears...

 

A couple years ago before Bryn decided to attend Mizzou for her college education, we did a tour of my own alma mater as well... Missouri State University... aka. Southwest MO State as it was called back in the covered wagons days when I attended.  

Although it's been said I'm Mizzou alum as well, but that just aggravates people, so I'll only claim the school I actually attended for 3 years & graduated from, and not the one I just attended during my freshman year only.  Insert sarcasm & eye roll...

 

Definition of alumnus

1 : a person who has attended or has graduated from a particular school, college, or university 

—usually used of a man in the singular but often of men and women in the plural

2 : a person who is a former member, employee, contributor, or inmate

 

 

 

 

Anyway... I'll carry on...

 

 

At the time when I was in school... I loved Missouri State more than Mizzou.  And although Bryn's dad & my dad are both alumni, my mom even attended Mizzou for a couple years before she ended up graduating from Webster University... we've all been life-long Mizzou fans & pretty much groomed Bryn to be a fan as well.  She spent her whole life attending football, basketball & even women's volleyball games.  It's been in her blood since day one.  She's a Tiger for sure. 

 

Still... my sisters & I all graduated from Missouri State, so everyone is also a Bears fan too by association, and well... they got much of my parent's money so cheering us on was a given. 

 

And worse yet, if we ever called home & started the conversation with, "Da Bears," my dad said he always got ready to open his wallet because he figured we needed money.  LOL

 

 

 

Suffice it to say I was excited to show Bryn the campus where I went to school.

 

 

Bryn's main response to campus that I still vividly recall... "It's too beige."

 

Me:  Wait what?  Too beige?  What do you mean by that?

 

Bryn:  The buildings.  They're all too beige.

 

 

Granted this campus tour did take place after the tour of Mizzou, and well.. Mizzou is definitely full of a lot of pomp & circumstance... I still never realized how beige it was in comparison until she pointed it out.

 

It was beige alright, but when I was her age all I saw was an education, opportunities, fun, people my age, life experiences and of course... life away from my parent's roof... LOL

 

 

 

Which leads to something that was on my mind today... mindset & how you see the world around you.  How you view those around you.  YOUR ATTITUDE and how you view and treat others, good or bad, is what you will unknowingly bring more of into your life. 

 

Look around you... what's in your life?  Who's in your life?

 

If your life seems to be full of drama or negative circumstances and you're not realizing that YOU might be the reason for that... you still have much to learn. 

 

If you're better at blaming others for your circumstances than you are at taking some accountability and deciding to make changes to the energy you're giving to those circumstances, the universe will never have room to bring you some happiness.

 

 

 

Positive attracts positive. 

 

If you focus on the negative in someone, you'll get lots of negative in return.

 

If you focus on what's wrong with everything rather than with what's right, you'll get plenty more wrong to complain about.

 

If you're busier judging others than you are at being busy making positive changes to your own life, you'll be forever unhappy. 

 

 

Start with gratitude. 

 

Even if the only thing you can find to be grateful for is waking up in the morning. 

Or having a roof over your head.

Or that you have food in your refrigerator.

 

 

Start with making a habit of saying THANK YOU for all the little things in your life.

 

It will in fact, bring more little things to be grateful for in your life. 

 

Change your perspective on how you see things around you. 

 

If you see a lot of beige, I bet you'll be bored.  Nothing more boring than lots of beige, I'll definitely admit.  LOL

 

 

Where can you find something else to look at though?   What else do you see in the big picture? 

 

It all starts & ends with YOU. 

 

It's as simple & as complicated as that.  Just YOU.

 

Change your perspective, add some gratitude and change your life...

 

XOXO

 

"We're gonna find that we're more alike than we are different..."

 

 

Just a quick share of something I read recently and a fav song with a similar message. 

Have a great week!

XOXO

 

 

 

THE POWER OF KINDNESS

Do you want to make the situation better for everyone involved? Add kindness to it.

Do you want to make beneficial use of your strength rather than merely showing it off? Invest your strength in kindness.

Those who attack you expect you to attack in response. Genuine kindness confounds those expectations and gives you the opportunity to move the encounter in a positive direction.

Cruelty and pettiness come from a place of weakness. Kindness is an undeniable demonstration of strength.

Kindness does not mean you’re letting anyone else take advantage of you. It means you’re setting the agenda, one that’s positive and productive.

Whenever you can, which is almost always, activate the power of kindness. The biggest victory is when everyone wins.

-Ralph Marston

 

 

"So mothers be good to your daughters too... "

 

A good friend recently shared this on Facebook.  Her oldest is getting ready to graduate from high school & will be off to his first year of college in the fall.  I didn't write these words, but I can relate to every single one of them. 

Still... even though Bryn is getting ready to finish up her sophomore year at Mizzou.

The quiet house is sometimes deafening. 

Childhood goes by right before your eyes.

As slow as the days & nights sometimes feel... as long as those weekends sitting in a gym watching volleyball can be... I'd give anything just to experience some of those moments again. 

And yet...  I also equally love the moments we still get with each other... like Mom's Weekend at Mizzou... or even like that time she recently came to my strength class and complained every day how sore she was.  And then 3 days later started crying in the car because she was so sore that she couldn't sleep and even Advil wasn't helping.  And then I had to try to be empathetic and not laugh... even though I was secretly proud of myself for kicking her ass.  LOL

I digress.

While I sometimes will still introduce her to people as "my little girl" (you know... the one who's way taller than me & will be 20 years old in June)... I'm more proud than I can possibly say that she doesn't need me as much anymore... that she's independent just like her parents raised her to be.

And she's just as determined to do well in school, as she is determined to have fun there too.

I mean... she is my daughter.

 

But for those of you who are getting ready to send yours out the door soon, it is possible that you'll still be close even if it's from afar and you no longer see each other in the same house every day.

I miss her like crazy, but we are still very close.

Sometimes we act more like sisters, but this stage of life is really good too. 

And no matter how old she gets or where life takes her, she'll always be my little girl.

My really cool, amazing, incredibly smart, funny, strong, beautiful little girl.

Truly blessed.

XOXO

 

 

 

 

One day they’re born.

And you feel like you have forever. Their little body fits into your lap, their hand tucked in yours, their head nestles into your shoulder. So small, so simple, so sweet. The years seem so many, the moments endless. Eighteen years feels forever.

Yet, they grow.

Time moves and ebbs and flows and things change and in it all even though time at moments seems to stand still – there it goes – moving.

They start out needing us so much. Feeding them and clothing them. Picking them up and helping with homework and dropping them off and teaching them to tie shoes or parallel park or how to multiply.

Sometimes the change is subtle and sometimes it’s crazy. A shift here, some bravery there, and in it all they don’t stay small.

We go to sleep listening for them. For a cough, the door to open, for that whisper of “mom are you awake?” when we clearly weren’t.

They stop needing to hold your hand across the street and find friends and do daring things and read and grow up. The clothes are donated, the play food let go, the training wheels discarded, the new freedoms of growing up gained.

And they grow and grow and grow. The limits morph and you stay up late again, not pacing the floor helping them get to sleep, but pacing the floor waiting for them to come home.

Your heart has grown big and ached and been broken and been proud and has this love that was once unimaginable.

And then one day, they close the door and it is the last time. The last time home with you in it is, well, home. Tears fall – joy and sadness and celebration and “where in the world did time go?”

That little one who fit in your arms so tightly now is walking out, walking away, growing up.

On their own.

Oh don’t get me wrong – It will always be home. You are home for them. But it’s not the same. Maybe we don’t talk about that space – that growing up, letting go space – when our homes, instead of becoming noisier, become the opposite.

Quiet.

In life there is that moment, that gut-wrenching place of motherhood that is both bittersweet and joyful when that little one you raised leaves.

It is a fierce bravery to let them go. It’s where we tuck back the tears and shout, “Way to go! You can do it!” But inside, sometimes we are whispering to ourselves the same thing.

You can do it.

You can love and give and in it all let them go.

We all want it. We want them to be successful, to have a voice, to find love, to pursue their dreams. Childhood is this place of pushing them to be more and speak up and live.

Letting go is the deepest love of all.

We don’t cling so tightly because we want them to fly.

And in that flying, that letting go, we become the hero. We look back and see all the bandages placed and late nights and slammed doors and giving and loving and the courage it took to say, “fly, sweet child, fly.”

From me.

The mom always learning to let go.

Holding her once little one in her arms.

~Rachel
Finding Joy

 

"She laughs without fear of the future... "

 

 

My parents have an annual scholarship they give in my sister, Kaysy's, name.  She passed away 19 years ago, but it's been given to a student every year at Bayless High School since 2012.  And I remember this because my parents were attending a fundraiser with David Freeze, Matt Carpenter, Mike Methany and Tony LaRussa leaving me to be the one who gave out the first award that year.  To be honest, I would've rather been hanging with the Cardinals, but it was a special occasion and the kid who received our first scholarship was truly grateful.  You can read more about that in my original blog post from that date.

 

 

Every year my mom makes copies of all the submissions and gives them to the 6 of us to review (well... most years it's just been my sister, my dad and me... but as the girls have grown older, Bryn and my niece... Kaysy's daughter, have also been included).

We all read the submissions and vote on who we think should receive the scholarship money.

 

Every year my mom comes up with 2 essay questions that's somewhat relevant to what's going on in the world around us.  They can choose to answer either one and then there's always something on there asking what their favorite high school class is and why.

This year the question posed was this:

 

Life gives us good times and bad.  There are two ways to handle your fear:  FORGET EVERYTHING AND RUN or FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE.

Please share your triumphs and challenges through either:

1. Your high school years and experiences OR
2. Your experiences and lessons with the COVID Pandemic

 

Most answered about the Pandemic and to be perfectly honest... reading all the submissions was depressing.  I've written a few times about how the chaos of COVID has affected me personally, especially with regard to my job, but reading these student's perspectives inspired me to write again. 

Here's some excerpts of what they had to say:

 

"However, when we started the 2020-2021 school year with online learning, a lot of people here, myself heavily included, struggled significantly with keeping up with school work."

 

"I was ecstatic to be able to return to school because I didn't want my senior year of high school to be virtual. We must practice social distancing, which leaves me feeling a little empty. Despite that emptiness, I continue to do my best to adjust to the situation every day."

 

"Learning was hard through a screen, and even now with being back in full time in-person, there is still a barrier with masks on. The feeling of not being back to normal still holds an anchor on my heart, and the atmosphere does not feel the same."

 

"Education is not the only thing that has been affected by COVID, however. During my Junior year, I was going to play Varsity volleyball, and our season got cut short. We hadn't even played a game yet, and then we got the call that said we were indefinitely quarantined. And now, after two years, I finally got to play a real game with my team, and we won after a hard fought battle."

 

"A couple weeks in quarantine, I noticed how lazy and less productive of a person I became. I often saw myself procrastinate and not take things as seriously as I once did."

 

"I learned that obstacles are here in our lives for us to overcome and strive as better people and to build personality."

 

"COVID took all the things that motivated and kept me busy away from me. Weeks in I noticed that I started to gain weight, become lazy and wasn't as engaged in school as I was before the pandemic."

 

"Overall I learned to not take things for granted and to enjoy my life to the fullest."

 

"As much as I'd like to say the experiences were bitter sweet, they cost me to lose a lot of my real high school experiences."

 

"Relationships have been the turning point for the whole COVID experience. Friends and family have backed me up throughout the whole year and made sure my emotions were where they needed to be. Without them, I would still be at my lowest point in my life. School was unmotivating and relationships were dying. I think I am mature enough to call myself independent, but without the relationships you build along the way, more problems in life would occur and those would be even harder to face than they are now."

 

 

 

 

Relationships matter.

Positive happy relationships matter. 

Who you surround yourself with matters.

In-person conversations matter.

Getting off your phone or your computer and engaging with others in person matters. 

Hugs matter.

Unmasked smiles on the faces of strangers in the grocery store matters.

The energy in a room full of people matters.

Doing things that bring you joy matters.

Our mental health matters just as much as our physical health.

 

 

We each play a role in someone else's life.   We are all "essential" in someone else's life. 

Surrounding yourself with people who not only bring out the best in you, but also with those who might test you in ways that can only make you grow and learn, matters.

Like teachers, for instance.  Or... like people who God has decided needed to be in your life and part of your journey for one reason or another. 

 

FEAR can be debilitating. 

It can cause anyone to initially want to forget everything and run.  It is, in fact, the easier way out. 

Whether it's fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of love, fear of people judging you, fear of forgiveness, fear of moving on, fear of healing, fear of a freakin virus... whatever it is for you. 

 

I've wanted to run many times throughout my life.  God has a way of continuing to bring you back into similar scenarios over and over again though,  until you finally decide to face things and rise.

And it really does come down to that simple choice.  Are you going to face your stuff and rise?  Or are you going to keep re-reading that same chapter you've been stuck on in your life... that same pity party where you change nothing and nothing changes.

 

The matching tattoos that Bryn and I got before she left for her freshman year at Mizzou are part of my favorite Bible verse and one I've relied on and repeated throughout many challenging moments...

"She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

Proverbs 31:25

 

If you're still taking the time you have left here on earth for granted, you may not have learned much from COVID. 

It's all temporary. 

The good times and the bad times.

Life itself is temporary. 

What we choose to do with that time and the positive or negative impact we have on the world and those in it, is on US though, every day we RISE out of bed and decide what attitude to bring to the day.

Or better yet... what gratitude you bring to the day...

XOXO

"So put your best face on, everybody... "

 

Bryn was home this past weekend for a couple reasons.  Mainly because she was heading to Florida to spend the week with her dad.  But she was able to attend a wedding shower for a longtime friend with me before she left.  

 

Coincidentally, it's also the one-year anniversary of lockdown and the craziness COVID has brought into all of our lives.

 

She doesn't come home that often because she has school, a job, sorority life and well... a life.  And while I miss her terribly, we stay in close touch.

But honestly, I'm not above bribing her with food & shopping, so I've been known to drive up for the day just to see her for a couple hours. 

 

When she does come home though, it's like nothing has changed.

 

Bryn:  Mom!  (me sitting on the floor of my bedroom looking for something to wear to my class) You have to taste this smoothie I just made.  I almost threw up when I tried it.

Me:  Uhhh... no.  Thanks anyway.

Bryn:  No.  Just try it!  You have to try it.

Me:  Why do I want to try something that is going to make me throw up? And what's in it anyway? 

Bryn:  That greens shake stuff, a banana, that frozen acai stuff...

Me:  Wait... wait.  Why did you mix chocolate stuff with the acai stuff? 

Bryn:  I don't know?  I didn't know it was chocolate?  Please.  Just try it!

Me:  Ok...  (takes a drink)....  Well, I kinda taste something not great, but I'm not gagging.

Bryn:  (takes one more drink in solidarity)  and then literally dry-heaves over my bed

Me:  If you puke on my bed, I'm gonna be mad.  Get out of here! Go in the bathroom!!   Also... are you sure you're not allergic to something you put in the smoothie?!!

Bryn:  No, I'm not allergic (leaves the room continuing to gag)

 

And this, folks, pretty much sums up 2 months of lockdown last year.  It's how we roll.  But we definitely keep each other laughing & entertained. 

 

She's my favorite person in the whole wide world. 

 

And as much as I'm sure we'd both agree that neither one of us would like to repeat last year's lockdown... if I had to do it all over again... she'd be right there beside me.  Doing a lot of walking outside to survive it all, I'm sure, much to her dismay. 

A little vitamin D never hurts, right? 

 

In totally unrelated news... if you're looking for ways to do more than just survive in these crazy times... and THRIVE instead... you could always hang with me at Bloom! We have a 7 classes for $77 special right now. 

Here's a tiny snippet of my strength class if you want to join me sometime!   Low weights & high repetitions... tone up, create lean muscle, and well... muscle burns calories while at rest too, so it's a win-win!

 

 

Although... have we met?  My first & true love is dance... so you could always join me for that too!  In fact, I'm doing it tonight at 5:30. 

Find us on MINDBODY & secure your spot because class sizes are still limited.

{offer is good thru Sunday, March 21st}

Your first class is FREE!

XOXO

"Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree... "

 

2 days in a row of blogging, which is unheard of lately, but I'm inspired to ask...

 

Is anyone besides me trying to age gracefully, but finding an uninterrupted full night's sleep elusive? 

Don't get me wrong.  I do have most nights where I can get about 8 hours, even if it is broken up by 1 or 2 trips to the bathroom. 

And my problem isn't usually falling asleep at night... I can do that just fine.  It's the falling BACK asleep after each trip to the bathroom that's usually the issue.

 

Regulating my hormones with estrogen & progesterone has helped at least with not having night sweats wake me up.  Melatonin also usually helps, as does Advil PM... although that leaves me pretty hazy in the morning. 

And well... if I'm teaching... that's not a great combo.  Cue the acting skills. 

 

Another habit I picked up while I was married, was to wear an earplug to drown out the snoring.  And yes, I said earplug.  Just one... because I mostly sleep on my stomach, which means one side of my face buried in the pillow, leaving only 1 ear exposed.  I don't do that anymore... lost the snoring husband and the ear plug habit... but I do keep one in my travel supplement organizer just in case.  

I've also been known to buy an eye mask during a trip when it's a very BRIGHT room at like 6:00am. 

See photo above. 

I would've been fine with a basic eye mask, but those were too good to pass up.

 

Anyhoo... to make a long story even longer... my family & I just had a trip to Anna Maria Island, Florida in January.  It was our 2nd time there.  Made me laugh that everyone recalled a funny story from that first trip in 2018, so since we're on the subject of sleep, or the lack thereof... I'll share.

 

My sister I were sharing a room and bed.  This is usually fine because neither one of us move around a lot, so sleeping isn't usually an issue.  Unless of course there's a hurricane in the area & you're both too stubborn to get up & open the window with the loud screeching winds outside... but I digress.  

Hurricane Alberto was a looong time ago and we shouldn't live in the past. 

But she was closer to the window & should've opened it or we could've died, I'm just sayin.  Although in the moment, we both looked death straight in the face & went back to sleep... loud winds and all.

 

Back to 2018 though. 

In the middle of the night her snoring, although it wasn't really snoring, it was more like loud breathing, woke me up.  So I casually reached over to my nightstand & quietly opened the lid to my supplement organizer remembering right where I had left my handy dandy ear plug.  

No need to turn on the light or get out of bed, I'm a pro at figuring out ways to go back to sleep, so I got this.

Pulled my ear plug right out of the case, put it in my ear & slept for the rest of the night.  It worked like a charm.

 

When I went to pull the ear plug out in the morning though, I gotta admit, it felt a little different than it did earlier.  Also, there was a weird residue in my ear. 

So yeah... same size, similar texture & while it did drown out the snoring, I wouldn't exactly recommend putting fish oil in your ear. 

Although I'm sometimes desperate enough to try anything.

 

Follow me for more pro tips.

Although if you have any of your own tips for getting a good night's sleep, I'm all ears...  LOL

XOXO

 

 

Grief...

 

So... I went to bed thinking about this last night & woke up thinking about this, so I'm compelled to write.

 

Someone I only "know" through social media passed away suddenly at 40 yesterday.  I was shocked & I cried.  In reading his wife's posts and IG stories, I'm not only reminded about Bryn & I watching his silly videos 9 years ago, but also of my own anger I had to sit with for many years when my sister passed away suddenly. 

I'm also reminded that life is SHORT.  So find what makes happy, find your passion, find what lights you up.  Give your energy to those that matter... those you love & who love you back.  Ignore the nonsense, the negativity, the drama.  Make each day count because there are no guarantees & none of us know how long we have here.  But who you are, how you make people feel and the impact you have on others is your legacy, whether you realize it now or not. 

 

Back story...

 

As some of you already know... I used to be heavily involved in the world of scrapbooking, card-making, paper-crafting.

It's the sole reason my blog came to fruition  in 2008... to be a vehicle for more exposure in that world, to have a place to showcase my work, to market for the companies I'd someday represent and even to share part of myself, my life, my family.

And it worked.  I would eventually have companies send tons & tons of free product to me in exchange for my design work. 

I would eventually have my stuff published in magazines & books & product catalogues. 

It took me a couple years of hard work & determination, but I did it.  And the first time I made it into Creating Keepsakes Magazine in February 2011, I about lost my mind.  Not even kinda kidding.  I'd been in Scrapbook Trends & other books by that point, but CK was the mecca of all publications at the time as far as I was concerned.  And I think I shared in that opinion with most people.

 

 

All of this wasn't a huge money-maker for me, but I did get paid for work that got published, and the magazines would also pay me when they published my work. 

I LOVED it.  All of it.

Blogging, writing, designing, scrapbooking, taking photos, taking photos of my work, card-making, marketing products, submitting my stuff for publication, the social media forums... all the FREE products I received... seems like forever ago & also just like yesterday. 

People that followed me over the years watched Bryn grow up too.  Her face was on most of the pages that were published, so technically she can say she's been published in magazines & books too.  LOL

 

I've been scrapbooking for as long as I can remember in my life, with old scrapbooks from my youth that I've found made out of construction paper & yarn.   Photos, memories, stories, pretty paper, glue, stickers... ugh... why am I not still obsessed with it?  I love it so much.

Oh yeah... Zumba stole my heart, time, energy, passion... and then my other passion took a backseat. 

Coincidentally though... BOTH passions have helped me with my grief over the years.  Both require focus on other things or other people... and both allow me to escape my own thoughts and place my attention elsewhere.  Both started as hobbies, but they drive me in different ways and save my sanity. 

 

And just like with any other industry, the paper crafting world has people everyone knows because of the work they do or because of the companies they're associated with or simply because of social media forums where you might get to chatting and strike up friendships based on your common interest. 

I met some of the people I knew only online, in person at convention or even on family trips believe it or not, but whether actually meeting people or not, you knew who was who.

Elizabeth Kartchner, aka. Dear Lizzy, has been a huge influence in that industry forever.  And just like anyone else who blogs, or in her case... creates a product line sold in stores, you get to know their families through them over the years. 

 

I stopped following the majority of the people I followed back then when I stopped regularly blogging & designing because I was following everyone typically through their blogs. 

Facebook & Instagram started taking over the world of social media, with blogging in general losing much of it's steam for most people.  

And in my own life, fitness started to play a bigger role. 

And unless I made a point to follow people through FB or IG, I lost touch with their lives over the years.

But Liz's husband, Collin, became well-known in the industry along with her.  At one point he made a handful of videos poking fun at the scrapbooking industry.  To most people the things he says in these videos, the names (I ♥ Cathy Z.) & picture of Lisa Bearnson on the wall... would make no sense.  But to those of us at the time, we were living it.  And it was laugh out loud funny to me.  And also to Bryn who watched with me. 

Fast forward to 2 years ago when Bryn had her wisdom teeth pulled.

If you remember I posted a video on my blog of her still high on drugs on the way home from the appointment.  In the video she randomly blurted out, "Hi... I'm Cleetus McDuffy... get some..."

I mean... WHAT?!  You hadn't seen that video in like 9 years??! I laughed so hard at her that day!  Crazy kid. 

 

 

All this back story though to say that he passed away suddenly yesterday.  He went on to do more than just be his wife's sidekick... and by the way, those two seemed inseparable & quite a team.  4 kids later & in the past couple years he was a big advocate for kids with regard to social media & Smart phones.  Cause of death was unknown & natural causes stated.  Someone said brain aneurysm today, but either way he was young. 

Liz's Instagram Story yesterday immediately brought back my own feelings of anger that I experienced when my sister passed away suddenly.  And it's hard to imagine this anger unless you lose someone suddenly that you were very close to.  I remember this feeling so vividly.  It's painfully relatable & takes me right back to what has healed in me over the years.  But it took awhile, especially when well-meaning people say the wrong things to you.  Or want you to be ok when you're not. And all you can do is keep getting out of bed every day. 

And by the way, they're Mormon.  Her last post referencing how she'd only said the F word once in her life when she was 16...

 

They didn't know us, but we know them.  Rest in peace, Collin.

Sending prayers of strength for the Kartchner family.  We are so very sorry for your loss.  ♥

 

And maybe I'll pick up some paper, glue & photos today just for old times sake...

XOXO

Choose grace for others and for yourself...

 

 

A longtime friend of mine recently shared this on Facebook & I love it.  Such words of wisdom, not only for my own "kid," but for ANYONE, no matter your age. 

One thing is for sure... my kid & I have always kept each other laughing. 

And for that, I am beyond grateful.

 

 

 

Ten things I want my kids to know:

 

1. Happiness is a lot of work. You can’t be lazy or entitled to achieve it.

 

2. You will make mistakes and they will only define you if you give it that kind of power. If the lesson is learned, the mistake is worth it. It’s your choice whether or not it wins. You are not a prisoner to your past and you are allowed to grow.

 

3. The world owes you nothing. It does not care who you are, where you come from or what you think you deserve. Everything you achieve will have to come from your own dedication to what you love. It will not be handed to you easily.

 

4. People do not get to tell you who you are. Make peace with your own soul and give no one the power to tell you that you’re something you’re not. Know who you are and be okay when others do not understand you.

 

5. Work hard. Never go into anything with half your heart. Respect is earned by how you did the job and not the title by your name.

 

6. Show up for your people. No matter what has happened, show up. That’s what people will remember about you in the end of all of this.

 

7. Choose grace for others and for yourself. No one gets it right. You won’t either. Bitterness is the anchor to the soul but grace sets you free.

 

8. Have fun. Be adventurous. None of us are getting out of this alive so make the time you have count with the people who actually matter.

 

9. Laugh in the good times and the bad. Your sense of humor and your ability to take a punch will set a strong foundation of stability.

 

10. Love God! He’s the most consistent thing you’ll ever have!

 

 

 

 

 

And speaking of my kid... I finally just got to see her yesterday after almost 2 months.

So yep... it was a pretty great day.

 

 

 

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday & have a great week! 

XOXO

It's 5:00 somewhere...

 

I've had so much I want to write about lately... so many emotions over the past month... much of which relates to my job and trying to figure out  who I am outside of my role as instructor because while it doesn't define me, so much of my identity is tied to it in the last 9 years.  And let's face it, that role has changed abruptly.  I guess I'm still doing it in a virtual way by myself, but I really feel more like I'm on an extended vacation I never asked for... because goodness knows, I rarely get a sub unless I'm out of town or at death's door. 

I don't like missing class. 

My role of MOM isn't quite as hands-on as it used to be now that Bryn is almost 19.  Yes, she still relies on me to keep a roof over our heads, pay the bills and be the adult around here (& I use that term loosely), but let's be honest... we've been abruptly thrown into me being her new college roommate for the rest of the semester.  And I imagine her former roommate didn't pester her to go outside and take a walk or run.   She eventually gives in, but it's probably not at the top of her list of fun things to do. 

But what else is there to do?  Besides maybe pester her to help with the dishes and argue with her that...  NO, she's not going to go hang out in Columbia just for tonight no matter how many times you ask me.  Trust me... I get it.  This stinks.  It is what it is though, so let's make the best of it. 

And that reminds me... I never did post pictures of her abrupt exit from Mizzou last month.  Thankfully my parents helped us move her out because let's just say... she's her mama's girl with a lot of stuff and we needed an extra car...

 

Anyhoo... we all feel the same about this virus situation, I know.  And it's a day to day thing when it comes to the emotion in all of it. 

 

But bring on Easter.   It's a holiday I always always celebrate with family and for many of the more recent years, we've spent it in Denver with my sister, Marci, hosting us.  It's also the anniversary of my sister, Kaysy's, death.  It was March 31st... 18 years ago... and Easter Sunday that year.  Horrible memory for a holiday, but we've managed to get to a place together where we're celebrating her life rather than being stuck in grief over her death.  It took time though.  Many years.

While we won't all be together in Denver this year, hitting Red Rocks for Easter Sunrise Service...  which by the way is a MUST if you've never done it... we will be all attending a virtual church service together and then doing a family Zoom call afterward.  It will result in many laughs, I'm sure, probably a virtual cocktail in hand if I know my family, and will be as good as we can have right now. 

 

 

I listened to the following video the other day & thought I'd share.  This guy is always very compelling & engaging with his content, but very real in what he shares about putting our current reality into perspective.  It's worth the listen when you have a few minutes! 

 

 

Love that he said at one point "these kinds of businesses are hard even when they're easy"... which just about sums up the fitness industry too. 

If I can ask anything... and you're part of that industry along with me... hang in there with us.  We're determined, so VERY determined, and we've managed to quickly change gears and provide virtual services, but we're counting on you too.   And maybe a few prayers as well. 

We're all in this together.

 

Happy Easter, peeps.  You all ROCK.

XOXO

Mizzou.... RAH!

 

Much has changed in 33 years since I left home for my freshman year at Mizzou in 1986. 

First & foremost... perms are no longer in style.  Thank goodness.

Prince music is still pretty cool, although I can't imagine anyone would hang a poster of him in their dorm anymore.  Also fairly confident no one has a land line phone with a cord hanging from their loft either.  In fact, speaking of lofts... you don't even have to buy lumber & build your own... the rooms already come with loftable beds. 

Oh and air conditioning too.   No box fan for the window necessary. 

In fact, much of the decor is now coordinated months ahead of time if you're lucky enough to know your roommate in advance of moving in.  And while I did know my roommate from high school, I think it's safe to say we both just brought whatever we could find at home for our bedding and decor. 

I mean... I needed every cent I had saved for clothes, Sunday night dinners when the dining halls weren't open, and well hairspray, obviously.

 

 

I also took off for school knowing my high school boyfriend would also be arriving to school when I got there.  That made leaving home a lot easier for me because my world pretty much revolved around him.   Of course by the time the holidays were rolling around, I was beyond ready for home.  And at one point I called my mom and said how much I was looking forward to some family time.   Things of course changed when my boyfriend ended up dropping out of school at semester, but by that time I'd met enough people that I survived without his daily existence in my life.  I imagine it gave me more time to study too.  LOL

Bryn on the other hand has 2 main people she's closest to... her best friend, who's going to another state university, and me.  And at the last minute she said to me, "I don't want to go." 

One thing I said to her though is that you're never stuck...  whatever or wherever it is.  Whether it's school, a relationship, a job... there's always a way out.  You always have options.  And if you decide this isn't for you, it's changeable.  There are other schools.  And not every successful person out there has a college degree. 

But with that... I also told her that while she may not realize it right now... she was going to meet a lot of new people, make new friends, enjoy this new independence, enjoy most of her classes, enjoy a different social life... and to give it a little time before she decided she didn't want to be there because we all feel like that when we're heading into new territory.

I also said that it's during our most uncomfortable times in life, that we're in a period of growth.  And that getting out of our comfort zone was a good thing, even if we don't usually realize that until we have hindsight. 

 

It's been 2 weeks since I dropped her off.  The longest time period I've gone without seeing her prior to this is a week.   So... let's just say I've had moments of really missing her. 

But this is what we raise our kids to do. 

We raise them to be independent of us.  We raise them to ultimately leave home & lead self-sufficient lives. 

These are things I know in my head... and I've certainly done my best to prepare her for... but once it's here, it's still hard.   And I'm sure it's safe to say we  all wish we could go back & slow time down a bit... because you're never really prepared in your heart for the next stage of life when you wave goodbye.

 

Part of me sees this prepared 18-year old adult and the other part of me still sees this sweet little girl with her backpack & her baby doll...

In fact, after we had a bit of a tearful goodbye in her dorm room, I nervously walked out of the building feeling like my legs were going to collapse underneath me.   Cried part of the way home.  And then cried again after posting pictures on Facebook & friends started commenting such sweet responses for us. 

 

She stays in pretty close touch with me though and seems very happy, and also very busy!  Between school starting and activities with her new sorority, Kappa Delta, I'm quite sure she's not getting a whole lot of sleep.  But therein lies college life.  And we all get to a point where we start saying no to fun, and yes to studying & going to bed early. 

 

I had someone ask the other day what made her decide on Mizzou.  I said, "Uh... she's pretty much been groomed since birth."  LOL

I ended up graduating from Missouri State University.  But her dad is alum.  My dad is alum.  My mom went to Mizzou before graduating at another school.  And while my sisters also graduated from Missouri State... we're all lifelong Mizzou fans.  Suffice it to say, it's been in her blood. 

And well... she's been going to football, basketball and volleyball games all her life.  So... while the choice was hers... she was determined to get into Mizzou.  And that she did.

Proud mom here... who's slightly envious of all the Interior Design classes she's taking.

 

 

And also REALLY glad she asked me to come visit tomorrow & grab lunch/shopping!  Can't wait to hug my girl...

"One foot on the break and one on the gas... "

It never ceases to amaze me how many people are willing to workout on Sunday mornings in Zumba & Piloxing.  It's truly impressive & inspiring. 

When asked if I was interested in adding a 30-minute strength class at 8:30am, I thought it made sense to try it out.  I figured a couple people might show up?

I was totally wrong. More than a couple people showed up for the first class.  Which just goes to show that not everyone is tired or hungover on Sunday mornings.  And even if they happen to be either of those... exercise actually DOES give you more energy & we are surely sweating out all the toxins we might have too, just sayin'. 

 

Also... you know you might have issues when you cut your chin with your thumbnail while dancing.  Currently hoping it doesn't leave a scar.  (insert eye roll)

Does anyone else get injured in class with stupid stuff like that?  Happens to me more often than I care to admit, but usually it's my hands or fingers bleeding or bruised from my obnoxious clapping.   I've learned to not wear rings or any kind of bracelet that might cause harm. 

Maybe I should wear gloves?  And possibly a mask.

Anyhoo... this will be short week & then we're headed for our 2nd of 3 road trips with Bryn's volleyball team.  Last month was Franklin, TN and this weekend will be Columbus, OH... a state I've not yet visited.  Although when it's a volleyball trip, all we're really going to see is a court & lots of games.  So in all likelihood there will be no touring the city other than to look for food.  

In addition to not being a huge fan of "bleacher butt," I'm also not a huge fan of driving on long road trips.  I prefer to fly.  And Ohio isn't exactly close. 

This princess quality I have probably stems from years of driving everywhere with 3 sisters seated closely to each other in the backseat, concerned with who's crossing the imaginary lines & not staying in their allotted space. 

"I'm hungry.  She's leaning on me.  When are we going to be there?"

The good news is... Bryn can drive too.  The bad news is... we'll likely have rain & possibly snow, so I'd rather she not. 

And as for the other complaints above... I do hear I'm hungry regularly.  She also doesn't care for my purse leaning on her arm & I don't care for her gigantic blanket crossing over onto the counsel while I'm driving.  In fact at one point on our last road trip we started shoving the blanket back & forth so many times when we stopped for gas that we were laughing uncontrollably. 

I'm laughing again just thinking about it.  I'm not sure who's in charge anymore, but I'm beginning to think we need a personal assistant to keep us in line. 

And drive for that matter.

 

My parents did take us on many trips when we were younger though.  And I know now as an adult how expensive it would've been to fly 5 people everywhere we went.  I'm VERY grateful they instilled a love for travel with us and took us to experience many places, even if it wasn't always the most comfortable mode of transportation.  There were always laughs along the way for sure, many stories of which we still reminisce!

 

I'm also going to miss our team meeting where they'll be making vision boards.  I regularly use Pinterest to stay inspired in lieu of having an actual  vision board, but IF I was going to be there & make one, it would most certainly look something like this...

I don't know who made that but she might be my soul sister.   Like I've seriously probably pinned all those things separately at one time or another.

 

How about you?  Have you ever made a vision board?  It's a great way to keep positive images, inspiring words & future goals in daily sight. 

 

 

And I hope your week is just that... positive & inspiring! 

Happy Monday! 

XOXO

"Dial 1-900-MIX-a-Lot... and kick them nasty thoughts... "

Goodness.  So much to say.  So much to get caught up on. 

And while I don't need to go into detail on everything... I can hit some bullet points of life around here lately...

I had an amazing trip recently with Bryn.  Our first trip ever with just the 2 of us... aside from 1 volleyball tournament earlier this year to Nashville that was more of a road trip.  This trip involved flying to another country... Mexico... and when we do it, we do it right. 

All-inclusive.  And we enjoyed every single second of it.  Even the part where we had a cancelled connecting flight on the way home and also both ended up with some stupid stomach parasite... mine escalating to a fever & a 10-day antibiotic prescription.  Two antibiotics to be exact, but who's counting.  Insert big sigh.  No regrets though.  We had a blast & I'd do it again in a freakin heartbeat.  I mean, the trip was full of guacamole til we busted, Zumba at the pool & IN the pool... it couldn't have been better.  We're already talking about doing another trip next summer as her graduation gift.  Maybe not to Cancun again & hopefully without the parasite as well!

And yes.... she's a senior.  Her first last day of high school was on Wednesday.  Insert another big sigh.  School is off to a good start.  She's on the varsity volleyball team again... middle hitter... and also has a job working as a server at a local retirement/nursing home.  I'm very proud of her, as I'm sure you all know.  She's not perfect, who is?, and we get along sometimes like sisters, but she keeps me sane & laughing, which is really all that matters!

 

Additionally, Bob & I are now divorced.  The actual settlement day that happened this past week was emotional to say the least, and coincidentally also happened on Bryn's last first day of high school. 

Nothing between us happened overnight.  Not our decision to separate.  Not the actual filing which happened literally a year ago this month.  And not the actual signing of papers.  It was a journey, to say the least.  But it does bring a sense of closure with it. 

What I do know to be true is that I've known him for half my life so I don't take any of this lightly & I don't think he does either.  He'll always be a part of my life.  We will always be co-parenting & I'm very glad we are still on amicable terms with each other.  It matters for all 3 of us. 

In today's day & age of social media you wonder... am I supposed to update my status as divorced now?  Or single?  Or do I really have to have a title?   I think we all feel like we have some kind of title or branding of who we are & quite honestly... does it really describe us or is it society's description of who we are? 

 

I'm happy to say though that in the midst of everything... something made me decide to attend another group fitness training over the weekend & I left it being on a "high" I haven't felt in awhile.  So it was the perfect ending to an emotional week. 

 

I had started this blog post a couple weeks ago in anticipation of the training and had started writing about the whole story of how I ended up teaching Zumba 7 years ago in the first place, because trust me... it was NOT a goal at all to teach... I liked being a student & that was it!  But I deleted it all & will save it for another day. 

 

Since then though... I've added on the following certifications/licenses.  All of the trainings have had their crazy stories, some of which I've shared on this blog: 

• Zumba Toning
• Aerobics and Fitness Association of America (AFAA) Group Fitness Instructor
• Les Mills Body Pump
• The CRT Method

Can I just say though that THIS training on Saturday was by far, the most unpredictably FUN training I've ever attended!  I mean... it spoke to my soul in ways that I just can't describe.  But I'll sum it up as saying it was almost 9 hours of dancing &/or learning to dance better with a format that is near & dear to my heart. 

The MIX by Piloxing is a commercial dance format.  Essentially that means, any kind of dance EXCEPT Latin since basically Zumba has got that covered already.  And quite honestly, all the stuff we do in Zumba besides the Latin is what speaks to my soul the loudest, so this is a good fit for me.

Learning all the new choreography (which is repetitive just like Zumba), not to mention the verbal cueing that needs to happen while on a mic will be a whole different beast, but I'm practicing & memorizing as much as I can.  We'll see where this leads, but I'm a happy camper to say the least! 

Quite honestly, there's no way it couldn't be fun.  Our instructor is a very dear friend who is also my boss & one badass on the dance floor.  In fact, she's so good she's a Master Trainer & in their promotional video.  Check it out...

 

 

And with that, it's Monday, which means I'm headed off to take her class tonight & commit some more of all this to my ever-fading memory!

Hope you have a fabulous week!  XOXO

"You were only waiting for this moment to arise..."

 

Music is so powerful... the feelings it creates... the memories it brings back... it's always been such a huge part of my life.  Music was always playing in our home growing up.  Even had my own Donny & Marie 45-record player in my room before I could afford to buy a decent stereo.  Columbia House addict anyone??  Why yes, I do have a penny.  If that doesn't show my age, I don't know what does.

It's still very important in the job that I do.  Music can make or break an experience for someone, especially in a fitness class.

 

But I felt compelled to quickly write & share this video I saw on Facebook.  

Funny how a 20-minute video can literally make you smile the entire time, laugh out loud & even cry not once but TWICE while you're watching it.  First... because they sang Blackbird, which we played at my sister's funeral, and then again toward the end when they sang Hey Jude... because that song always reminds me of an entire house full of people who had gathered after my best friend's mom's funeral years ago, all singing that song together in honor of her mom, Judy.   

 

If the Beatles didn't play some role in your life with memories... well... you must just be young.  Although just like they mention in the video... their songs are still relevant today. 

If you need a good smile today, watch this...

 

.

 

XOXO

"We get it, you vape... "

 

 

So.... Bryn got her wisdom teeth removed yesterday.  As per her request ahead of time, I videoed the drive home which, by the way, was hilarious.  I mean... hard not laugh hilarious.  Poor baby. 

I tried to avoid laughing in the car because I didn't want to start her crying again like she did in the recovery room.  Her dad & I were both there for the 30-minute surgery.  When we got called back into the recovery room, we were hit with a LOT of follow-up care recovery info.  I imagine we were both nervous about her condition & trying to listen as intently as possible, both hoping that between the 2 of our can't-remember-shit-diseased brains, we'd get the info correct.  So the nurse ends all of the info with something like... just drop off the prescriptions, go get a milkshake or a smoothie while you wait & then give her the meds when she gets home... any questions?

Bob says... "Uh sorry, I guess I got hung-up on the smoothie part & didn't hear what you said after that." 

So I burst out laughing & say, "He must be hungry."

At which point, Bryn got mad & shook her head & started crying. 

So I'm like... oh my gosh that can't be good for her mouth & teeth... we're just being idiots & she's 3-sheets to the wind & doesn't get the humor in ANY of this.  Nor does she understand our being overwhelmed with too much info (it wasn't quite as short & sweet as I depicted above), so I say... "oh, sweetie, it's ok... everything is ok"  & the nurse says... "don't worry this is a totally normal response to be crying." 

 

So... let's just say it was really difficult to not laugh during this video, even though I did a couple times.   And there's a 2nd video too which took place after I got back in the car with the smoothies, but it's really just more of the same hilariousness so I won't bore you with both. 

 

And as a side-note since you'll likely wonder who the hell he is... "Cleetus McDuffy" is a character in a stupid funny YouTube video we watched when she was a lot younger & I was in the thick of my scrapbooking life.  The husband of a well-known scrapbooker made a mockery type video of the craziness that went on in the scrapbooking world back in the day.  It was hilariously on point & I think it's even more hilarious that he came to mind in Bryn's brain somehow yesterday. 

 

Anyhoo... she's doing well so far & is totally back to "normal" now.  Just about as normal as her mother...

 

Happy Friday & hope you have a GREAT weekend!  XOXO

Happy Gal-entine's Day...

 

 

Ok so I know I've posted this photo on here before, but it's probably one of my fav photos of us ever.  It was taken of us in a hotel room in London and we were laughing our guts out as usual.  Who knows why. 

I laugh a lot, that's no secret.  However, there's only a few who can make me obnoxiously laugh to the point of tears & no sound coming out of my mouth... & she's one of them.  My dad is another.  Actually my entire immediate family.  They're crazy.  I don't even know how it gets to this point with us, but it happens quite a bit & usually over something really stupid. 

So last night I said goodnight to Bryn, told her to please turn off her phone & give her eyes & her brain a break... and then went into my room & got in bed.  A few minutes later, I get a text from her (yes, from across the hall) of the following video she apparently took a couple months ago & probably put on her Snapchat story for all I know.  I transferred it to Youtube so I could share it on here & I'm sure no one really cares about the stupidity of this except for me, but I want to remember it & I'm so glad she took it.  It's SO us.

Neither one of us can even remember why we were laughing.  And if anyone else was in the room with us during these episodes, they could surely never understand a word of the unintelligible stuff that comes out of our mouths while we're gasping for air... only for some reason, we can understand each other in the midst of it.  And it just carries on & on until I'm yelling, stop... my stomach hurts! 

Needless to say, I ended up laughing my guts out at bedtime last night & so was she... each in our own bedrooms across the hall.  

 

 

And this is why she's my favorite person in the whole world.  Truly blessed. 

Whether you celebrate Valentine's or not, hope your day is full of happiness & some laughter too! 

"It's a beautiful day... don't let it get away... "

 

I want to start by saying thanks for all the love last time.  Truly.  And I particularly liked the handful of laughing face reactions, since it wasn't meant to be too serious of a post.  My writing style has changed over the years to be more similar to the way I would actually speak with humor &/or sarcasm if I was telling the story.  This also means sometimes I use slang or it's not totally grammatically correct, but rest assured it's intentional & that I do know a sentence doesn't end with a preposition.  

Which reminds of that joke about the southern lady on the airplane...

Southern lady to other passenger:  Where y'all from?

Passenger:  Where I'm from, we don't end a sentence with a preposition.

Southern lady:  Oh.  Well where y'all from, bitch?   

 

Anyway... I read some posted comments  yesterday from a few friends who's day didn't begin as planned & left them running late or missing out altogether... in this case on the way to the gym that morning.     

It happens to all of us at one time or another, headed to the gym or not.   We wake up with a plan for the day only to have life say to us... nope, I don't think so. 

 

As a parent I also understand how much time it takes to get multiple people out the door.  When Bryn was younger, she even had a doll carrier & car seat we had to use.  Her dolls went everywhere with us, thankfully not all at the same time, but she'd take turns & make sure everyone got their fair share in time out of the house.  She'd tell me, "they are real babies, mama" and would request that I treated them as such.  

Of course I always tried my best, even apparently being so convincing in my attempts, that one time a stranger asked me how old my baby was while I was sitting in the airport holding one of them.  I had a strange look on my face I'm sure & said, "um, it's a doll."  She laughed nervously & awkwardly walked away. 

Man I miss those days, even if I did look like an idiot.

 

What I loved about the stories I heard yesterday though, was that even in the midst of the chaos of their morning, they still found a bright side to it all.  Whether they arrived late that morning or ended up going to an evening class instead... they left in a better mood than when they walked in.  And I totally get it, because no matter how I've ever walked into the gym, good days or not, I ALWAYS leave happier. 

There's something about the camaraderie of being around others with similar goals, even if sometimes the goal is simply just to get some ME time with or without the workout.

 

And this doesn't even have to be about heading to the gym.  Insert any other event in our day to day lives that could cause frustration in how we thought our day should go. 

It's all about perspective.  And there's always a bright side if you make the choice to look for it. 

And usually there's a lot more we can find with what's right in our lives than what's wrong.

 

So...  after receiving a random & very inspiring email/story from my sister yesterday... and then also received the following email from my Dad, who forwards The Daily Motivator to us every day, I felt compelled to share this...

 

For a moment, for a day, for a lifetime, appreciate what is. Whatever may happen, whatever may be, choose to see it with a perspective of gratitude and appreciation.

Not every day is filled with blue skies and sunshine. Not everything you undertake turns out the way you wanted.

Even so, you always have much to appreciate. There is always value to be found, always goodness to be lived.

Always, when you decide to find something to appreciate, you will. Have faith that there's a positive way forward, and you'll see it.

Although the weather may turn nasty, and people may disappoint you, there's no cause to be dismayed. For somewhere in the day, somehow in the situation is real value.

Remind yourself to appreciate what is, and you'll see that value. Appreciate what is, and position yourself to make the very best of it.

-Ralph Marston

 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness.. only light can do that... "

 

Well... here we go 2018.  New year... new "resolutions."  

 

I have to say... I've struggled with getting back to writing for awhile now... something I was so regular about at one time... something that's always been a creative outlet for me & my most comfortable way of communicating.  The lack of writing is of no surprise here, as most of my blog posts in the last year or so usually began with something like... "well, it's been awhile..."

Considering I've had this blog for about 10 years, that's frustrating. 

Part of my recent hesitation to resume writing on a public platform is that I'm going through a divorce.  And because of that I have to be aware of & careful about what's on social media.  So please refrain from commenting with regard to that topic right now... and thank you.  ♥♥♥ I suppose I felt that I could at least post fitness-related stuff though... or family trips & holidays... but then, I never really got back to blogging even with regard to those topics.   

Not sure exactly what I was doing during this time of not writing, but I gotta be honest... I guess I did occasionally keep up with the Kardashians.  And their fondness for a tossed salad in a clear plastic container in like every episode reminded me I should start making more of those... even though I'm kind of lazy & it takes time to chop all that stuff up.  It is a healthier alternative to popcorn & wine though, so I call that a win for some of the senseless time they've sucked from me. 

Anyway... enough of my disappearance into reality TV.  Let's give this blogging thing a whirl instead. 

One thing I can speak of with regard to the past year are endings & new beginnings...

 

1. I had big changes with regard to my job this past year.  2017 began with another studio closing, just a couple weeks prior.  After over 2 years of teaching there, it was safe to say there was a lot of disappointment & shock as far as emotions go...  and I think I speak for all of us... both instructors and members.  And while I still see a lot of the faces I was blessed to see on a regular basis, there's many faces I no longer see & wonder how people are doing.  A lot of friendships are formed at the gym.  We have FUN while we're there & connections are made because of how much time is spent there with each other.  In addition to that job, my time with another gym came to an end in April, which was totally unplanned & extremely disappointing to say the least.  It's where it all started for me... and I could go on & on for days about how much my class peeps impacted & changed my life like I could've never imagined...  but I made the decision it was time to move on once my eyes were finally opened.
2. When one, or rather two, doors close though... another opens WIDE.  You have to have faith in this, whether you realize it during your crying & kicking time or not.  Positive things have continued to happen & goodness is ALWAYS in the horizon if you stay present & trust God in your life journey.  
3. Besties, friends, comrades and acquaintances... for a reason, for a season, for a lesson.  At a few months shy of 50, I'm still trying to figure this one out.  Clearly age doesn't always equate with maturity.  And I'm not talking about acting stupid, as I'm totally down with that.  I'm talking about wondering if some people ever really leave high school in the way they navigate through life.  It perplexes me.  Although the majority of my friendships, in the last 10 years anyway, were formed because of Zumba.  And I've said many many times... Zumba brings out the CRAZY like no other fitness format... mostly in a good way that I freakin' LOVE, but occasionally in a might-need-meds kind of way so maybe that's the problem?  LOL  I'm also trying to get better with my verbal communication skills.  Yes.... you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.   I lost a longtime friend this past year because I was friends with someone, who in her mind, had done something she didn't agree with.  Batshit crazy, if you ask me, & she who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks.  I was subsequently "unfriended" on Facebook AND in real life due to association... along with Bob at the time.  We both just kinda went... huh???  She's one of my few non-gym friends & now in retrospect, I think she may have needed meds AND Zumba, just sayin'.  We keep it real.  To be honest, I'm still looking for the lessons in why friendships can fizzle, how other "friends" can take advantage of your trust, while also continuing to speak my own truth in the most gracious way possible.  However... I also find that God works in ways that truly have meaning if we just stay open to finding the lessons in all of it.  And I try to relate what can go on in mid-life with my teenage daughter because friendship woes clearly don't end in high school.  But my begging days did end at 19 with my boyfriend who broke up with me.  Made an ass out of myself then, so... what can I say except I'm probably not going to be begging for anyone else to keep me around since that didn't fare so well either.  LOL 
4. Speaking of my teenage daughter... we're planning a trip to Los Angeles this summer.  Just a few days ago she said, "We should get matching tattoos while we're in California."  I have to say it made me go... hmmm.  Neither of us have tats, nor does anyone in my immediate family... although my sister, mom & I have talked in the past about getting them with regard to my sister Kaysy.  She promptly went on to say that "there's this one place in LA, but the guy is famous & charges a minimum of $250 no matter how small it is."  I said, "yeah, I don't think so."  I'm intrigued though & think it's sweet she's been thinking about doing something like that with me. 
5. Also speaking of my daughter... she got her drivers license last summer.  So... uh yeah... new beginnings there for sure, as well as trusting & praying while she becomes more & more independent.  Hard to believe that in only a year & a half she'll be headed to college.  I'm planning on stalking her though, so don't worry, I'll be just fine.  But let's keep that on the down-low so she doesn't get suspicious.
6. Speaking of which, we toured Mizzou a few months ago since she's pretty sure that's where she wants to go.  Did I ever mention I went to Mizzou my freshman year?  Then I followed that boyfriend from above home at the end of the year & we broke up that summer.  Add it to my list of dumb moves I've made in my life, but it did mean I'd end up getting my degree at Missouri State University & I loved that school so much.  So... all's well that ends well.  Or ends with senseless begging, I mean.  Although actually, we're still friends to this day!
7. Read a thought-provoking & great self-help book in a recent book club... The Emotionally Healthy Woman.  Highly recommend it for anyone seeking to continually grow through life, not just go through life.  It's good stuff & I've been working hard to apply what I've learned to my everyday life.  Even better than the book were the conversations during book club.  Thankful for being lead to that room, that group of women & that book.  Nothing happens by accident.  Saying what I mean, meaning what I say & doing so without over-thinking everything... THIS is taking me into the new year.  And happily, the year has already started off with a bang.  Granted that was a champagne cork, but I'm hopeful for much light, love & grace ahead surrounded by my tribe of good vibes.  And a LOT of crazy Zumba people, of course!

 Hope your year is off to an amazing start as well!  Happy 2018!

"In the blink of an eye... everything can change... "

 

Well, I'm back from a fun week in Scottsdale.  It was a trip that was planned for Bryn's 16th birthday & she got to take her best friend, Ali who I call my 2nd daughter, along with us. 

We've been going to Scottsdale for about 13 years as we own time shares with the Westin there.  It's more of a home-away-from home & we do a lot of the same things every time we go. 

It's actually been a few years since I've been there & probably the last time I was there, we took Bryn's cousin, Sydney, with us & decided to try an ATV tour.  It was our first time on ATV's.  Bryn could at least say she'd driven the riding lawn mower many times prior to that, but at the ripe old age of my mid 40's... sadly (or happily rather) I couldn't even say I'd ever driven that.  I'm not the most outdoorsy girl around.  So we were all novices to say the least... me especially.  In hindsight, I'm glad it's where we started because it was apparently an easier course. 

Not knowing otherwise though, Bryn asked if we could do another one on this trip so Bob booked this tour at another place a little closer to where we were staying. 

We all suited up with helmets, ski masks for the intense dirt/dust we'd soon create, goggles and gloves. 

There was a family of 4 who was also on the tour with us, but had booked 2 small jeeps to use. 

The guide lead us through 2 practice courses to give us an idea of what we could expect on this 2-hour trail.  He asked how we all were doing.  I told him I was nervous after the first one & then after the 2nd practice run, when he kept reiterating that this course wasn't for beginners & was more of an intermediate trail... we ultimately decided it made more sense for me to be in a jeep, so Bob got off his ATV & drove that with me.  He would soon say he was glad he did that because even in that jeep... the course was still a bit stressful.   I only got a couple photos during the flatter parts of the course because it was rough terrain to say the least.

At about half-way through the 2-hour tour, we stopped for a break to drink some water and take off helmets for a few minutes.  Our guide also walked over into the brush & cut a piece of cactus that he said we could try.  Looks painful, but ummm ok. 

If you've never tried cactus out in the wild & why would you (unless of course you know that it's high in water content so it helps with dehydration)... the trick is to burn off the needles first. 

Looks like a pickle... texture of a melon... doesn't have much taste to it.  Nothing to write home about.  Even though technically, I guess I am.  LOL 

We got started back up again... guide in front, then Bryn, then Ali, then us & the 2 jeeps with the family behind us.  A short time later going up a steep incline, Ali fell over to the side with the ATV on top of her (apparently hit the embankment & a rock got under the tire or something).  We stopped.... I yelled "oh shit!!!!  Ali!!!!"  Thankfully she popped right back up and yelled "I'm ok!" & pushed her ATV back upright, but it was still stuck on the embankment.  So we waited until the guide must've noticed no one was following him & Bryn anymore & circled back to help get it unstuck.  SO thankful she was ok.  She has since complained her ankle feels like it's sprained & I don't know how it couldn't be with being twisted over like that, but so thankful nothing worse than that happened.

We got going again & all took another brief stop to rest for a few minutes & also to let the guide look at Ali's ATV & make sure everything was ok to continue driving.  I wish I had better pictures of what we experienced & how much dirt & dust was kicked up while driving.  At some points you could barely see in front of you, there was so much dirt in the air! 

For whatever reason though, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling to pray.  And I kid you not... about a minute later Bryn's ATV flipped upside down & I couldn't see her anymore.  I screamed so loud.  We abruptly stopped & I didn't even open the jeep door... just literally leaped over the side of it & started running, not knowing what I'd find.  My legs were shaking so bad I thought they'd buckle underneath me. 

But as I got closer, Bryn pulled herself up from the embankment.  But for the grace of God, she somehow rolled out from under it when it flipped & was hanging down the embankment.  I don't know how she managed to walk away with just both knees of her jeans ripped, banged up knees & an arm... but it was God's protection of her without a doubt.

She thinks her tire got too close to the edge of the embankment & it flipped.  It all happened so fast, she didn't realize what happened, which is probably good because she likely let go right away. 

She could've lost her life.  She could've snapped her neck.  Not even a broken bone. 

Suffice it to say there's no pictures of this one & the guide had her drive his ATV the rest of the way back since her handle bars were bent. 

I didn't get a lot of sleep that night.  And I guess I'm writing about the whole thing to try to purge it from being replayed over & over like a bad dream in my head. 

Watching it happen right in front of us & not being able to do anything about it. 

Realizing I could've left Arizona without her, if even one thing gone differently than it had.

Realizing how something can happen literally in an instant & your life can be forever changed.

I managed to keep it all together that day, because going into the ugly cry in a helmet, goggles & ski mask would've been disastrous, but I have cried so much about this since then.

In fact, we both stood in the bathroom just the 2 of us the next morning crying & hugging each other.  It really was scary for her too.

I've thanked God so many times for His protection of her. 

She's the love of my life.  She's part of me, as I am her. 

 

She turns 16 on Friday.  We will be heading to take her drivers test that day, just as soon as I leave class, I'm sure.  I know I'm no different than any other parent in worrying, but this experience makes you realize how quickly things can happen.  And she'll be out on her own more & more with this upcoming chapter of independence. 

And the most you can do as a parent is pray.

 

Anyway... on a happier note... Bryn got a new Go Pro Action Camera right before we left for our trip.  She made a cute video of some of her week with her BFF.  A memorable week for both of them, I know...

 

Not sure what happened to the quality of the video when I transferred it to youtube, but you get the idea!  

XOXO

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"Sometimes it feels like... somebody's watching me... "

 

 

Happy Valentine's Day!  I left an early surprise on Bryn's desk the other day .  Her first response after her very excited THANK YOU was, "ummm did you have to pay a lot of money for those roses because I just saw a dozen roses at the grocery store for like $25??" 

I told her no.

But I am glad she's really starting to pay attention to how much things cost because girlfriend loves to shop a little too much. 

Just an FYI for those still searching, I found this dozen at Target over the weekend for $16 if you purchased them without the vase.  But yes... with a vase is $25.

 

On a side note we were chatting on Friday.  Her BFF asked if she wanted to spend the night, but since they'd already made plans for Saturday she evidently declined saying that she wanted to stay home & hang out with me because "she hadn't seen me in like 10 weeks."

Slight exaggeration.  Teenagers exaggerate often if you haven't already noticed.

I told her I appreciated that & also mentioned that I was getting better at letting her hang out more often with her friends.  She said, "Yeah... I have noticed that.  Why is that?"

I said, "Well, I'm glad you guys are happy mostly just hanging out at each other's houses rather than to be out at some crazy party.  And when you stay in contact with me & I know where you are, then I have no reason to worry about you."

She said, "Mom, no.  We don't even want to go to crazy parties." 

Which is nice to hear since I've been to my share of crazy parties... mostly those I've thrown as an adult.  LOL 

 

I said, "And I'm also really happy that you're not on Snapchat posting videos of yourself smoking from a bong." 

Because yes, I have literally seen video of Bryn's classmate & former friend from elementary school, doing just that. 

 

Bryn claims everyone at school thinks she's an idiot & can't stand her.  As a parent, I wonder do her parents not follow her on social media?  Do they know what's going on & don't know what to do? 

I mean, I'm not casting judgement, I know how easily it could be me in the situation & I'm so thankful it's not, but it really bothers me that someone can post videos of themselves doing this stuff at 15 without any consequence.  Or without anyone helping them when it's obvious they're screaming for attention.

 

And maybe these things have been going on for decades with or without the parent's knowledge of the situation, but there wasn't always the constant connection of social media. 

Or the need to let others know what your every move is. 

Or using social media to say look at me... validate me.

 

Suffice it to say, I pray a lot for my teenager.  

She's a good girl.  I'm really blessed.  She's certainly not perfect though.  Trust me... she can be a disrespectful ass sometimes like any typical teenager.  LOL

I try to be as open & honest with her as possible though about my life from birth to now... my experiences, my failures, my own issues with friends, etc... in hopes that she knows no one is perfect & situations don't start & end in high school, sometimes you find yourself dealing with the same things all over again even though you're pushing 50.  {insert eye roll}

 

But as all crazy Friday nights should go... we literally spent ours eating popcorn in bed while watching TV & then she fell asleep next to me. 

It was actually a perfect Friday night & I was really glad she wanted to stay home. 

 

I have to say though that in a couple years when she does leave & go off to college, I'm not sure what I'm going to do except possibly stalk her. 

There's Bryn's mom again, hiding outside in the bushes. 

I mean seriously though.  The thought of actually going 10 weeks without seeing her, if that could even happen, makes me tear up.  

 

She's going places though & I pray she's independent & successful... but most of all happy & doing something she truly loves. 

But I hold on to the hopes that the closeness we've always shared will last a lifetime, distance or not.

 

Although all I have to do is look at my own relationship with my parents & know all will be just fine.  Whether we see each other often or not, we are always close in thought.  Thank you, Mom & Dad... I am so very blessed...  

 

 

Ok then... it's Tuesday!  Time to put on some pink & red.  No better way to spend Valentine's Day than by dancing with friends! XOXO

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"Baby I can see your halo... you know you're my saving grace... "

 

For lack of anything with any real substance to it... more randomness from life with a teenage mini-me. 

 

Text from Bryn at school today...

Bryn:  After school can we maybe go look at the Mod tent sale?

{no response}

Bryn:  Maddie said she got like 7 things for 30 bucks and they have a lot of spring stuff out so maybe we can look for our trips.

Me:  Ok.  But the trips are 6 months away.

Bryn:  Yep.  But the sales aren't.

Me:  Ok ok.  I know it's the last sale ever in the universe.  I'll go pick some money from my tree...

Bryn:  {sends back several laughing emojis}

 

 

One more random story from our day today... 

Last Friday night, my friend noticed a mole on Bryn she thought looked unusual & suggested we have it checked.  I was able to get her in for an appointment with the dermatologist this morning.  I have to say, Bryn was pretty nervous all weekend & this morning was no exception.  While I did speak calmly to her about it & reassured her that I thought everything would be fine... her nerves made me nervous too.  She kept referring to possibly having skin cancer & quite honestly her nerves were making me nauseated at the possibility of that outcome.  I never lead onto that with her, but no one ever wants to hear the C word. 

So we were escorted back into the office by the nurse.  She asked the reason for our visit, said the doctor would be in shortly... and "oh, by the way, she'll have a physician's assistant shadowing her today." 

The doctor came in & said hello... and then introduced her assistant Kaysy to us.  (I'm sure she spelled it differently than my sister, but Bryn looked at me and we both smiled.)

We both knew that when "Kaysy" (a pretty uncommon name) walked into the room that everything was going to be ok.

And it was.  Totally normal mole. 

 

Now rewind back a couple months to Halloween... 

I had just taught my Friday morning Zumba class.  All was fine the entire class & we were taking photos in our costumes after class in the lobby.  The longer I stood there though, the more uncomfortable I became.  I started feeling a chest pain around my heart area that was so intense, I finally said to a friend... "I need to go.  I need to sit down or something because I feel horrible." 

I got in the car & called Bryn.  Told her I didn't feel very good, had horrible chest pain that was making me feel nauseated by that point.  Was also in my neck & jaw area.  Asked that she just come outside & drive to get some lunch.

Now that fact that I asked her to drive was the first clue that I didn't feel good.

Because we all know that being in the passenger seat with her could cause heart failure at times! 

By the time she got to the car though, I said... "I don't know what's wrong with me, but maybe I need to go to the ER."

She would later say that it was the first time I didn't say anything to her about her driving the entire way there. 

I told her I was too busy googling chest pain to pay attention.  LOL

They admitted me within minutes to a room, I had an EKG, blood tests, etc. 

Finally when the doctor came in a couple hours later to discuss results, she brought her physician's assistant with her... & said, "This is my assistant, Kaysy."  (Again, I'm sure it was spelled differently than my sister, but again... not a common name you hear all the time.)

Bryn & I looked at each other & smiled... knowing everything was going to be ok.

And it was. Tests were inconclusive, but definitely showed no signs of a heart attack.

And I've since completed a stress test & echo cardiogram as a follow-up to that ER visit, so who the heck knows if it was stress or what.  Craziness though.

 

 

As we left the dermatologist office today, both shaking our heads still about "Kaysy," I said... I'm not sure if that was really another physician's assistant or just an angel on earth letting us know all would be ok... but either way... it's a great reminder that my sister is still very much a part of our lives. 

I'm still smiling just thinking about it... ♥

 

And one more thing that makes me smile is this look back on 2016 in my fitness world.  I posted this on Facebook last week, but it's worth saving here too because it makes me smile.  It was an amazing year with so many amazing people that I get the honor to share it all with every week during Zumba & Body Pump. 

The year was full of wonderful opportunities & fun memories. 

Good times at a school twice a month, where even a couple friends would not only attend my Zumba class there... but would then also attend my Body Pump class at another studio a couple hours later.  Now THAT is discipline... not to mention DEDICATION.   Loved it.

I helped lead a couple Zumbathons, which is ALWAYS an honor especially when it's for a great cause. 

I helped with an amazing opportunity to be part of the Francesca Maria event one of the studios hosted.   Definitely something I'll not soon forget! 

A fun road trip to Des Moines for an instructor JAM. 

A few special classes for kids.

And I'm quite thankful for one door opening last year, even though another door closed.  Bittersweet to say the least. 

It is truly awesome to be part of something brand new though... and to be entrusted to help with someone's dream & vision of helping others become the best versions of themselves. 

My "work" life was truly a blessing in my life this past year and EVERY year.  I've been at this fitness adventure for 6 years in February.  My heart is FULL... ♥

 

 

And speaking of Zumba... it's Tuesday, so I'll be off to dance this evening!  XOXO

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"When you are fishing for yourself in the ocean...but you don't know that it's a cage that you're locked in... "

 

Many thoughts on my mind right now.

 

Life is a continuous process of getting to where we want to be... but trying to keep in mind that we are exactly where we need to be.  With age comes wisdom, but I sure wish age brought more patience too.  Or at least a neck brace because I sure do shake my head a lot lately.  LOL

I had someone recently ask me what I do for fun outside my job. 

I mean duh?  Working out isn't fun?  LOL

But is it weird that sometimes I like to just do nothing at all... like all by myself?  

Because after thinking about that question for a second, my response was that my job is so much fun that I feel like I get to go to a party with my friends every time I teach... especially in Zumba.  So when I'm not teaching, I'm almost happy to just have quiet time. 

Which could explain why if you're my friend & don't see me much, it's likely because I spend the most time & energy with the people who are in my classes.  

And then I need down-time.

And time with my daughter. 

And her crazy schedule.

And time to work on my classes.  Because let's face it.  I spend more time working outside of class than I actually spend in class. 

And basically I just need time to sit on my ass & not move a muscle.  Or say a word.  The mic is off my head.  LOL

I also decided this would be a good time to do another 10-day cleanse with all the summertime madness. On day #3 so far.  Care to join me?  Doesn't take much effort, but the result is usually more energy, clearer skin & likely shedding some weight/bloat.... for me anyway.  Win-win. 

 

I'm also looking SO forward to a trip to Cabo with just my sister, my mom & my dad next month.  I don't even know the last time it was just us.  I would say it was definitely when my other sister Kaysy was still alive... pre-kids & spouses.  I'd say 25 years ago probably. 

It will be nothing but laughs with those 3 though.  Cannot wait. 

Bryn is lucky enough to be with them & her cousin right now.  They just left Denver, where my sister lives, and arrived in Park City, UT last night, where my parents have a condo.  I've been following along on their adventures with pictures posted on Facebook, pictures she's Snapchatted or texted me & LOVED that Bryn tweeted the other day...

"I laugh more with my family than anyone else I know." 

It is so true.  Thank God for a funny family.  We put the FUN in dysFUNctional I assure you. 

And look at them.  They are all laughing, in spite of how cold the water was & how cool the weather outside was.  Not sure who the other couple stuck in the boat is, but I'm sure they're laughing at my family! 

 

Oh & did I mention I recently found out I have an Epigastric Hernia?  This annoying cyst-looking bump I've developed on my abdomen over the past 1-2 years isn't a cyst at all.  And according to the Google definition, it usually develops due to obesity or pregnancy.  Since neither applies... I guess I'm just the odd duck.  With the frickin luck.  And even though I'm vain & hate seeing it, I'm not getting it removed until it causes pain... because I'm not taking 2 weeks off work to let it heal after surgery until I absolutely have to.  Priorities! 

Gotta love looking up definitions on Google.  Very enlightening & entertaining! 

One of my friends will get what that means anyway.

 

 

Other thoughts on my mind have nothing to do with health/fitness... just people & life.

Like my ability to trust easily.  Probably too easily.

Never too old to learn lessons.

This also involves being out a lot of money from someone who never finished work at my house.

Generally speaking, I pretty much assume people are all just as cool & trustworthy as I am. 

And they just aren't.

Lying REALLLLLY irritates me.  Grow some balls.  Male or female.  Seriously.

Their karma though.  Not mine.

 

But here's another thought on my mind. 

Kindred spirits. 

Like-minded souls.

 

This industry I've been lucky enough to be part of over the years has taught me many things. 

Some good.   

Some... learning experiences.  Refer back to the above...  never too old to learn lessons.

 

I will forever remember the cheerleaders though.  The true strong women of this world. 

The women who aren't in-it-to-win-it... but who use their life & gifts to encourage, strengthen, uplift.

 

I will forever remember the stories I hear from the people this industry continues to bring into my life day after day.

We ALL have a story.  A story we continue to write every day.

I'm very proud to be part of an industry geared to helping others achieve a healthier & happier life.

I do not take that role lightly.

In fact, I'm honored to be part of anyone's journey, ESPECIALLY if it involves fitness or changing their life for the better.

 

This is not a job I do just for the money.  And while I do have bills to pay, I don't take on just any opportunity that comes my way.  I've graciously declined several over the years that didn't feel right at the time. 

In fact.... that reminds me of someone talking me out of taking a job.  A story for another day, I suppose.

Always listen to your gut, not someone else's voice. 

 

Like anyone else who teaches for a living though... school or otherwise... you do it because you LOVE it.  Not because you're going to get rich doing it.  In fact, it probably won't pay all your bills, no matter how many classes you beat your body up for.

If it's what you're meant to do... it's just under your skin though.  You can't help it.

It's where you feel the most YOU.

Where you can make a difference in someone else's life, not just your own. 

 

In fact, that just gave me an idea on a post about what to expect if you decide to become an instructor because I have quite a few friends heading down that path soon!

 

Every once in awhile I see a photo that gives me goose bumps.   

And this one screams JOY.  It was a special night I'll never forget. 

These are just some of the people I know, that you want in your corner.

Total cheerleaders.  True strength & LOVE for what they do. 

And they are good at it.  REALLY good at it. 

They are some of the people you want in your journey. 

 

And I am so very thankful that are part of my journey and my story. 

My story that continues to be written every single day.

 

I am, in fact, the author of my story.

As are YOU the author of your story.   So go ahead... make it a page-turner...

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Red wings and tea bags and video wars... oh my...

 

 

Ok.... so it appears that the last time I posted on here was on April 25.  So ummm... yeah... over a month ago.  That was actually a couple days before I left for Vegas so I guess everything must've gone to hell in a handbasket... which by the way that was one of the most fun trips EVER. 

I guess you can sum of the month of May as distracting maybe?  That & I seemed to be celebrating my birthday for almost the entire month as well.  LOL 

The older you get, the longer you celebrate! 

Mother's Day was thrown in there too.  So very thankful for Bryn EVERY SINGLE DAY since she's the reason I even celebrate that. 

 

Things are still just as crazy as always though. 

Bryn & I are still car dancing every chance we get. You think I only act obnoxious on stage?  Nope.

And sorry about the gum.  Apparently I wasn't prepared for an impromptu video session?

Still obnoxious texting with friends, which has recently elevated to taunting each other while on the treadmill.  Because we don't all workout enough so we apparently need to add Fitbit wars to our day. 

I swear if someone ever read some of the convos on my phone...  LOL 

Keeps me laughing but I'm sure anyone with any sanity might think otherwise...

 

 

 

Anyway... rather than continue to bore you with the details of my crazy life, that really is probably only funny to me & a few other people... I'll get to another point here. 

Recently I had to answer some random questions for a bio with the new studio where I'm teaching Zumba.  One of the questions was.... "what advice would give your childhood self?"  Coincidentally, a couple days later, I noticed that Bryn had tweeted the following list on her Twitter page.  I liked what she posted a lot & realized I've said MANY of these things to her throughout her life, especially the older she gets. 

So maybe, just maybe, she actually hears me when I'm talking to her & I'm thinking everything is going in one ear & out the other?

It's advice we could all have listened to back then and maybe even still... since I personally can't exactly "chill with the eyeliner."  LOL

 

51 THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. Do not spend more than $9 on mascara. CVS sells ones that work just fine.

2. It won't matter later on that he was on a high school football team.

3. Your push-up bra is obvious.

4. Chill with the eyeliner.

5. If he cheats on you, say goodbye.

6. Stop subtweeting or Facebooking your life.

7. Don't tell your mom you hate her; you will regret it.

8. Innocence is beautiful.

9. Call your grandma just because.

10. Some people will never like you; don't let it bother you.

11. Kill them with kindness.

12. TPing/Rolling houses is all fun and games till it rains and you have to clean it up.

13. You were beautiful before he told you.

14. Don't believe stereotypes. Get to know people personally instead of judging them.

15. Don't let one mistake define you.

16. But learn from your mistakes.

17. Eat home-cooked meals. You will miss it one day.

18. Your mom can see a fake friend before you can.

19. Your dad can see a crappy boy before you can.

20. Enjoy your metabolism while it lasts.

21. There is more to life than Friday night.

22. If your parents buy you something, whether it's a McDonald's or an iPhone, say thank you.

23. You are more beautiful than you will ever know.

24. Prom is not the "best night of your life," but go anyway.

25. High school years are not the best years of your life.

26. However, enjoy high school while it lasts, you will miss some of it.

27. Bad times make you appreciate the good times.

28. It's only a bad day, not a bad life.

29. Stop comparing yourself to others; that will never do any good.

30. Learn to forgive. Also learn that not everyone deserves your trust.

31. Learn to apologize.

32. He isn't the love of your life.

33. Sex does not make you mature or an adult.

34. Stop pretending to be someone you are not to impress people.

35. Keep a journal.

36. You'll regret spending $90 on that Abercrombie fur vest.

37. Eat the dang doughnut.

38. Five for $27, appreciate it, and never forget it.

39. Pray for your future husband every once in a while.

40. Pray for your future kids too.

41. Take those ACT prep classes seriously.

42. Hug your grandpa every chance you get.

43. Write thank you notes for everything.

44. Tell your favorite high school teacher she rocks.

45. Nothing good happens past midnight.

46. Put others before yourself.

47. Unless that person is an ex-boyfriend. You deserve happiness, stop worrying about him.

48. If you love God, then you should love people.

49. His plan is greater than yours (Romans 8:28).

50. Stop speeding; especially on turns. Also stop at stop signs.

51. Enjoy life. It goes by faster than you think.

 

 

Ok then.... Happy Memorial Day weekend.  Much gratitude for those who have given their lives for our country... and to all the men & women who have or are currently serving to protect our freedom most take for granted. 

Thankful for my many family members & friends who have served... Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. 

God Bless America!

 

 

 

 

 

"Baby baby baby oh..."

Yesterday morning while driving Bryn to school I said, "Well you lead quite the life.  Bahamas last week & then a couple days later you're attending the Justin Bieber concert." 

She smiled. 

It actually was a great show & we both enjoyed it.  And I'm pretty sure the screaming was louder than the actual music.  And the singing too.  An entire arena full of everyone singing along with him.  So cute & tons of fun.  And while I wouldn't have gone to that show if it weren't for Bryn, I was glad I got to go with her.  The tickets were one of her Christmas gifts. 

And well... I guess mine too.  LOL

I used Snapchat (my "story") to capture the event.  Then uploaded it to YouTube since stories disappear after 24 hours.  You can only video for 10 seconds at a time, but this will give you a great idea of what we experienced. 

And he ended the show with one of my favorite songs used in Zumba these days...  SORRY!! 

 

 

And rest in peace, PRINCE.  Such an incredible talent.  So many past memories that involve listening to his songs. 

SO very sad...

 

 

 

 

 

"I try to say goodbye but I choke... "

 

 

Well it happens pretty infrequently these days, but every once in awhile I get crafty again.  And since I couldn't be with my family in Denver this past weekend, I wanted them to know I was thinking about them as always.  Annual plans to attend the Easter Sunrise Service at Red Rocks was changed last minute to a different church for them due to all the snow that cancelled the service just a few days earlier.  Over 2 ft of snow!  Craziness.  I wonder if they've ever had to cancel the service in the past 60+ years?  It's too bad because it's one of the most spectacular & moving experiences ever. 

Put it on your bucket list... trust me.   And dress warm too.  Like really warm because it's cold at 6am in the mountains, even without all the snow.  We've been twice (2013 & 2014) and I was equally moved each time.

You literally sit there & watch the sun rise right behind the alter.  It's pretty amazing...

It's actually what inspired my card.  And the butterfly, made using a punch & a sticky dot, is significant for us too. 

 

We attended a nice church service at home too.  I cried through part of it.  Couldn't help it.  The band was awesome... the songs uplifting...  just emotional I guess.  Nice morning that ended with a nice lunch afterward at Coopers Hawk Winery & Restaurant.

And thank goodness no snow here for us... that can stay in Denver until it's winter again as far as I'm concerned.

 

Although the rain in the afternoon was pretty frickin chilly in my Easter dress I must say.  Guess I should've worn my Easter bonnet...