Yes, I know, it's been awhile. So long in fact that even my phone prompted me with a message the other day.
Write a post. LOL
Gotta love it. And yes, I know Facebook, it's been since August to be exact. Insert big sigh...
So anyway....
I had a couple things in the last 2 weeks that have been sweet surprises. Words to me that were nice reminders of why I do what I do.
It's not that I needed the feedback to know why I do what I do, but it prompted a lot of writing, so I'm running with it & that's why I'm mentioning it.
One of those things was just a simple little note on a scrap piece of paper left by my boss/friend intended for me to see right before plugging my music in for class. It was timely too.
That's the thing about kindness sometimes. It's divinely guided. Also a good reminder for myself too, that if I'm feeling a nudge from the universe to say something nice to someone, there must be a reason they need to hear it at that moment.
The other was the kinds words on this cup I received from a friend who started taking my Zumba classes this year...
Here's the thing though... here's what I don't think the awesome people who take my classes fully understand.
THEY have changed MY life one song at a time over the years.
Literally. Every single time I walk into that classroom, no matter what kind of mood I'm in, whether I've just been bawling my eyes out moments before or not... I throw on my hat & smile!
And the minute the music starts, it's on like Donkey Kong. We're all in it together, leaving our lives at the door for that hour.
Trust me. I remember that. I know for certain we ALL need that hour, some more than others on ANY given day. It's my privilege to be there & it's my job to leave my life at the door, because everyone is counting on me to do that.
And while yes, it's me at the helm of this ship leading the way, it's a room full of energy and we all feed off of each other.
In fact, I walked in on a conversation after class between 2 regular Zumba attendees last night... one telling the other how she inspired her to work a little harder & get a little lower during class.
And that just about sums it up.
Each one of us in there inspires someone else, usually without any awareness of it at all. Your mere presence could be someone else's "why" they are there. "Why" they continue to come back. "Why" they work a little harder. "Why" they have fun. It's not just me. We're all a team.
I love it.
One of my prayers, especially when I'm struggling to be inspired or frankly just to show up at all, is... "Use me God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, & what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself."
It's a gift that I've been put into this role.
A gift that keeps on giving back to me in ways I can't even explain.
These last few years have been full of much happiness & so many blessings for which to be thankful for as always, but also some painful periods of growth.
Have you had some years like that? Like... Ok, God, I get it. I'm listening... I'm looking for the lessons. Can we carry on with something else now?
I'm heading into 2019 with a mindset that's ready to get back to my true authentic self though. The best version of ME that I can be.
I mean, what the hell. I'm 50 now & not getting any younger!
I just listened to a podcast with Rachel Hollis & Ed Mylett yesterday. You can also see the actual video here...
They mentioned so many things I wanted to remember, that I found myself quickly typing notes on my blog with intent to eventually publish something, since hey, it's only been a 4-month dry spell.
One of the things mentioned here & frankly it's not the first time I've heard it either... is to remember who you were before the world told you who you were. Before you were someone's wife. Before you were someone's mom. Before you were someone's employee.
Think back to who you were as a child. What were your interests? What were your goals? Your hobbies? Your dreams?
In answering that for myself, I know that for as long as I can remember, I've been taking photos & making scrapbooks. Some of my older ones were literally on construction paper tied up with string.
I doodled all the time. Drawing houses, clouds, animals, the sun, rainbows... I was always creating in some way.
In fact all those silly little things as I look back over more recent years of my scrapbook pages, STILL show up in the form of stickers/embellishments. I'm just drawn to it for whatever reason.
In addition to creating, I'd be the group leader of "shows" we'd put on in my basement. I'd come up with choreography & decide how the show would play out with my sister, our neighbor & me. Usually that meant I was the lead singer/dancer in front doing my thang... while those 2 were behind me doing cartwheels or something I suggested as backup. LOL
I mean is that not funny & ironic or is it just me? That little girl's interests have followed me to adulthood. I unknowingly made them come to fruition in my life.
I'm not sure everyone is able to say they've unknowingly had their authentic childhood interests follow them into adulthood.
And for me, none of those interests have provided a sustainable income, so I guess I've downplayed all of it... the scrapbooking & the Zumba.
Which brings up another topic covered in that podcast...
That we tend to have the mindset that if we can't attach monetary value to something, it doesn't matter.
But that's just it. It DOES matter. It DOES have VALUE. When you're doing something you were literally created to do... it has VALUE for YOU.
"Your creativity isn't frivolous... it's a vital part of who you are."
Does this mean it becomes your job? Not necessarily.
For me... the way I've made sense of all this lately... is that when I'm NOT doing those things I was created to do... I'm unknowingly & unintentionally in a more depressed state. I require more sleep. I end up wanting to just stay in bed longer. I get less accomplished.
And when you have a job that requires a LOT of physical energy, not to mention mental focus & clarity, where do you pull from if there are also other factors in your life that are pulling energy from you?
There's only so much energy.
So there you go. I have to be intentional in bringing back those things into my life that unknowingly energize me, including that creative side that has been stuffed underneath things/people/situations of the past couple years, that in fact did the opposite.
If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.
Find it. Think back. Who are you? Who were you?
None of us have it all figured out. But we can stop & think back to who we were as a naive child and start with that.
I challenge you to go there as we head into the new year.
I'm going there too & I'm running with it... no pun intended.
Although who knows, at some point I may just run another half marathon....
