Whyyyy has it taken me so long to jump on this hot mess express band wagon? Glass of wine, some popcorn & I'm hooked for hours. Just in the past few weeks I've caught a marathon of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I know... it's been on forever. And sad but true, I admit to this new guilty pleasure. I really don't watch TV & actually feel like I'm just wasting my money by paying for cable, but this show truly entertains me. I've said many times in the past that there should be a Real Housewives of O'Fallon. Doesn't matter how much or how little money you have... put a bunch of women together & it's either hilarious or downright dirty. And I find it all highly amusing.
Here's just some of the epic quotes that are worth remembering & repeating. And oh yes... I'll do my best to throw some of these into a conversation at some point... LOL
The first time I saw Yolanda she was rocking a side ponytail and pumps. I thought this bitch is fierce.
You're a slut pig.
I'm happy to see Adrienne. She's running around with a little bush between her legs. That little bush being Jacob Busch her new boyfriend.
Who cares whether Erika is wearing underwear or not?
Who gives a shit? I'm not wearing panties.
My mom says as long as people are talking about you don't care what they're saying.
I have given my husband a lot of gifts. But the greatest gift I've ever given him is our children. Oh and a blow job in the car... I suppose we can say that.
Can we get a bottle of rosé out here? And a funnel.
I'm gonna give you a little piece of advice in front of everyone. The more you talk about shit, the worse it gets.
I'm like a cockroach. You can't get rid of me.
If you've got no undies on and you've got a short dress... cross your legs.
Ken would have to give me a hall pass for George Clooney. It’s George bloody Clooney for God’s sake and he’s got a sense of humor which he would probably need when I took my clothes off.
We started off on the right foot and I'm happy about that, but my other foot will kick you in the ass if you come after my girl, Kyle, again.
It's expensive to be me, looking this good don't come for free... that's definitely true.
I went to put her (Dorit) name in my phone and it came out Doritos.
It's the Crotch Chronicles.
No it's Snatch Chat.
This bitch is easy to deal with unlike some of the others in my life
How about a little Neosporin? Get a grip.
My hair is iconic, and don't you fucking forget it.
Where is my husband?
Oh I just saw him over there in the corner with his head up some woman's skirt.
Her closet... it could eat my closet for breakfast.
I don't throw wine glasses, I throw wine.
You’re not wanted.
Excuse me, neither are you. Ask your husband.
Now may be a good time to keep those big lips closed.
Dutch boys don't kiss and tell.
This one will. He'll squeal like a little piglet.
It's like I've walked into an insane asylum with these women in really nice shoes and purses.
You need to change your Depends because you're so full of shit.
Do you think you'd want to go to lunch tomorrow?
Why would I want to do that?
If anything goes wrong at the party, my plan is to be completed wasted so that I don't know what's happening because if you don't hear it and you don't see it then it didn't happen…like blackout sex.
She's had a few drinks and now she's going to the dark side.
I'll take pampering any way can get it. I'm a pamper whore.
Not only get in line with all the ladies... get in line with all the men. Everyone wants Harry Hamlin.
When sisters collide I don't know what the fuck to do.
I just can not sit back and watch the bullshit train go by.
I don't know what the ladies are doing but I'm pretty sure it's not Andre.
I am sorry. I am not putting my mouth on a straw where Brandi's mouth has been. Would you?
I cannot have a breakdown right now. I have too much to do.
To loyalty and not talking shit behind each other's backs.
And cheers to that...
hehehehe ... those Real Wive shows are HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Julie Tucker-Wolek | February 01, 2017 at 06:45 AM